Happy 10/10/10!

Look what I got -

We are having a gorgeous weekend, what could be the last for us in AWHILE, and of course right at the end of bike riding season, I find this!  I haven't had a bike since I was a kid, and I have been wanting a vintage one for awhile now.  While walking around enjoying the weather we came across this one and you can't beat the price.  As soon as we put some air in the tires I took off on it.  Later, my son saw a friend that lives on our street and the friend said to him - " Your mom had the biggest smile we have ever seen on her face riding that bike". 
I know, right? I am a NERD.  The only problem is that our street is one mile exactly (will have to ride up and down it several times for any kind of exercise)with a long incline - great going down, but the two times I tried, I haven't been able to get up it all the way without getting off the bike, YET.  One of today's goals - get up the hill.
I forgot how much fun riding a bike could be, but my legs are yelling at me already.

And, in honor of 10/10/10 - I have to take care of some business:


Thanks to Kelley of: http://kelleysbreakroom.blogspot.com/

I received my first Blog award and now I have to follow the rules.

I have to tell you Ten Things I like:

SNOW – the more the better. This truly aggravates everyone I know, but if you can't change it, you gotta lean to love it. We happen to live in what is called the snow belt, and we get plenty of it!
The smell of Eucalyptus

Playing board games or cards or Bingo, Pool, Corn hole, Boccie – anything with a group of people.  (Sadly hardly anyone I know likes this stuff) I imagine I will have lot of friends when I am elderly with perky Boobs!

Pajama Day – I typically designate one day a month to not getting dressed and lounging in my pj’s with the kids.

Chicago – In my dream world, I would have a condo in Chicago, a house where I live now, and a vacation spot in Disney World.

You guessed it – I really do love Disney World. Even without Kids.

British Chic Lit – I read for fun, life is too serious for anything else.

LOUD Alternative Rock Music – I love to get all melancholy and listen to loud music and just think.

Working. Hello, my name is Kristen and I am a workaholic. I feel guilty on a day off.

Dark Chocolate and ONLY dark chocolate.

And Now Ten Blogs I follow that Deserve an Award and for you to check them out:

Alexa’s - http://www.clevelandsaplum.com/

Leslie’s - http://givemepaws.blogspot.com/

Brittany’s - http://vavoomvintage.blogspot.com/

Michelle’s - http://shellibeanblog.blogspot.com/

RW Wells - http://scuzzymoney.blogspot.com/

Gingeyginge’s - http://adventuresofgingeyginge.blogspot.com/2010/05/formally-introducing-gingey-ginge.html

Cheeseboy’s - http://theblogocheese.blogspot.com/

Emily’s - http://emilyls.blogspot.com/

Mean Girl’s - http://www.meangirlgarage.com/

Sobrina’s - http://www.quietlikehorses.com/

Poopkins and a Mouthful of Fingernails

If Only I were this Creative

On my weekend To Do list is: Get Pumpkins.
We try to find a place to go that offers more than just picking up a pumpkin – something to put you in the fall spirit of things. I especially love the IDEA of a corn maze; however my experience is that unless you wear boots, have a compass, and bring a snack, it’s not as much fun as it sounds. Those corn fields are damp and full of spiders and critters too! The last one we went to me and my big mouth were lost for a good hour plus, while Mr. can’t –get- home- without- getting- lost, was out in ten minutes! (Thankfully he stuck around – but he had eaten lunch and was chatting up the Amish ladies when I finally made it out!)
Then you have the whole process of carving the pumpkins – which again, SOUNDS like family fun, but it’s just messy and nerve-racking for me. I really do not want to remember Fall by re-calling when one of the kids sliced off a finger.
Then you have to cook the seeds – again sounds great, even the smell and first bite is mouth-watering, but after that – well the whole mouthful of finger nails sensation in my mouth -no thanks. But I go along with all of it with GREAT enthusiasm. I love the IDEA of it all, but really, when you start worrying about costumes in August, sometimes the thought of me as an elderly lady in my rocking chair with a couple of un-carved pumpkins and a bowl of candy on my lap sounds so exciting!

We tried to grow our own pumpkins once. We threw some seeds out back (where the grass is always higher in one spot because of the septic system below) They were HUGE! For a while we thought we might be able to take one to the county fair: (So, how’d you get them to get so big? "Well, we grew them in the septic – NO,STOP! Don’t CARVE them!!")

Pretty sure he grows them over the septic system.

We called them our Poopkins and we DID NOT eat the seeds. However that might have been the year that the Squirrels got into them because some of the squirrels around the house ARE abnormally large…..

Feeling better than a Poopkin – How are you?

I've got Nothin'

ALL DAY I thought of topics to talk about. NOTHING. Nothing worth telling you anyway. I tried. I started a few titles:
My life if I were Soap Opera Charachter
But then it sounded so much more exciting than my life rather than worse, so I stopped)

Why Can't I Excersise Like I Blog?
 But then I thought you would think I was just plain lazy. Because I'm not! I just like mental wokouts more than physical ones.

I was going to tell you that they spotted a black bear fairly close to where we live, and if you re-call my post about all the critters I have had in my yard and remember when I said "Mark my words, I will see a bear yet" - well, I am locked inside my house now.

I was going to tell you how I picked out the song I want played at my funeral. (Moon River by Louis Armstrong ) but then you would think I was really morbid.

I could have shared the poem I co-wrote with my son the MINUTE I walked in the door from work. It had to rhyme, and each line had to have a letter of the alphabet in it -OH and it had to be about school.  Can't wait to see my A on that one!

I could tell you how we brought home Panera for dinner. They have officially jumped the shark by the way.  I will never get Panera again. My soup was a literal one cup measurement- we tested it.

I could tell you how last nght I was confirming a friend request on facebook when I saw all these other friend requests and I panicked, thinking all these people had asked me to be their friend and I just ignored them! So I frantically confirmed them until I realized they were merely SUGGESTIONS and now a bunch of people are wondering why I am so lonely.  STUPID FACEBOOK!

I could tell you that I wore new jeans today and if I do say so myself, my butt looked good - but then that would just be fishing......
Well, I WILL tell you that tomorrow's post will be better. Now I am off to watch the new Karate Kid with um, the kids because they are forcing me to, not because I secretly LOVED the movie and can't wait to watch it again....
LOSER

Worried my small readership has just dropped - How are you?

Advice Review - Time Management

Another EXPERT has Time Management Tips for us on YAHOO!! They had 30 tips, I have had to delete several due to lack of time for both you and me.

Let’s check it out:

1. Obvious (their words not mine) tip one: Make a to-do list (electronic or paper). Put the most important item first and work down from there.

I needed an expert to tell me this. My whole life I have been making lists –I even put a sticky note on the back of my phone every day with obvious things to do – still doesn’t help me find the time to get any of it done!

2. Obvious tip two: At the end of your day, review what you've done and make a new list for the next day. In order of importance.

The problem is finding the time, now you want me to add more time by making two lists every day and then check them – twice. But most importantly I will have to re-write my list several times because the order of importance changes as I think of more things to do – this list making thing is not going to work so well for someone like me.

3. Be ruthless about setting priorities. Make sure that what you think is important is really important.

If I am putting it on my list I am pretty sure it is important but if I were to ask someone else how important –let’s say, vacuuming is, I am pretty sure they are going to tell me they’d rather I cook dinner instead. Then I have to add to my list:  plan dinner, groceries, cook dinner, clean- up after dinner. Then I have to be RUTHLESS about it – GREAT- my family already thinks I am a you-know-what when I get home -this is going to be PERFECT.

4. Learn to differentiate between the important and the urgent. What's important is not always urgent. What's urgent is not always important.

I am so confused? Important vs. urgent. Is from a fortune cookie the author had at lunch before they wrote this advice?

6. All things being equal, do the hardest, least fun thing first. Just get it over with!

Pretty sure the things on my to-do list are all hard and not so much fun. Otherwise they WOULDN’T BE ON THE LIST!

7. If a task takes less than five minutes, do it right away. If it takes longer, put it on the list.

OK, so everything then goes on the list? HOW IS THIS HELPING??


9. Schedule some uninterrupted time each day when you can concentrate on important tasks, even if you have to take refuge in a conference room or at the library.

I thought we were trying to figure out how to get things done? Now I have to SCHEDULE uninterrupted time each day. What exactly am I supposed to get done at the Library or in the conference room??? Whose list are you looking at?

To Do: Look for a New Book to read, Make new friends, Sit in all the chairs like you are Goldilocks, Pretend you are Donald Trump and Fire somebody.

11. For a couple of days, take an inventory of how you spend your time to find out where and how you're wasting it.

OK, let’s now add to my TO DO list – find time to figure out how I am wasting time.


Results: Spent an hour sitting in the library. Spent an hour sitting in the conference room testing out all the chairs. Spent an hour re-writing my to do list.

14. For big, complex tasks, schedule wiggle room. Projects tend to take longer than you think/hope. Give yourself a buffer.

So I don’t have time as it is and now I need to add wiggle room. This is like watching one of those bad home improvement shows where they don’t have enough money to flip the house but they keep adding more and more things to make it look nice.

15. If part of your day involves routine repetitive tasks, keep records of how long they take and then try to do them faster.

Get the stopwatch! Kids, I’m going to start vacuuming –Time me! (WAIT! Let me add this to my to-do list first!)

16. Go one step further and set specific time limits for routine tasks. Work tends to fill whatever amount of time you happen to have.

Really??? So If I schedule 15 minutes to do laundry, there will actually be LESS laundry to do??? NOW WE ARE TALKING!


18. Value your time. People who wander into your workspace to chat do not respect you or your schedule. Set boundaries.

My husband, my kids, my blogger friends, my pets they do not value me or respect my schedule –NEWSFLASH!

20. In general, guard against overscheduling yourself.

I wear a Kevlar vest daily- it doesn’t work.

[See 39 Ways to Annoy Your Coworkers.] (Now your talking!)

21. Bottom line to items 19 and 20: Learn to delegate, wherever and whenever you can.

Is this person FOR REAL??? You don’t think I have tried this? My kids are ON TO my Bribes!

23. Reward yourself for completing tasks on time. No fun stuff until the work stuff is done.

Story of my life. So I should be rewarded in what, 20 years??

25. Schedule demanding tasks for that part of your day when you're at your peak.

I better go ask my hubby – or better yet, let’s not.

26. Group related tasks (e.g., sort papers on your desk and then file them). It's more efficient.

What kind of To Do list does this person have? I have a feeling the Author has a personal chef, housecleaner, tutor for the kids, Nanny, and Lady for Hire for the hubby – shuffling papers????

27. Use down time (e.g., waiting for meetings to begin) to, for example, update your to-do list or answer E-mails.

FINALLY –ONE way to find some extra time! Let me help – if you don’t wait for meetings, I find when you are going to the bathroom a brief moment of “down time” – might be a place to UPDATE THE TO DO LIST (WHEN DO WE GET THE STUFF DONE ON THE LIST???????)

28. This advice applies to life outside work, too. It's better to be excellent at a few things than average at many.

NOW I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL LOSER- THANK YOU! (still thinking this was from a Fortune cookie.

29. Don't be afraid to get projects done early. It takes them off your mind, and it doesn't mean you'll just be given more to do.

HANG ON. WAIT A SECOND. YOU MEAN WE HAVE JUMPED FROM FINDING ME MORE TIME TO GETTING THINGS DONE SOONER – HOW DID WE GET FROM THERE TO HERE????????????? (Yes I am shouting)

30. Create the business environment that works for you. Adjust the lighting, turn off your E-mail pinger, get that cup of tea. Set the stage and get to work.

Hang on Boss – let me dim the lights, get my cup of tea, turn on some slow music and we can get started…………………



Wow! That was HELPFUL –AND SOMEONE GOT PAID TO WRITE THIS!

Busy working on my To Do list, HOW ARE YOU??

Don't Let it Expire!

I have a little tale to tell you today. A true story. One of many crazy little things that have happened to me that I forget about (usually THANKFULLY) and then something reminds me of when ________ happened.


Once upon a time I glanced at my Drivers License and saw that it was going to expire on my next birthday. I was VERY pregnant at the time and let’s just say I forgot about it. I kind of remembered it from time to time but I was busy, hormonal, busy, tired, busy and then just felt too fat to have my picture taken. Several months later for some reason or another somebody looked at my Drivers License and told me, well no STATED in HORROR yet excitement – “UH OH, your license is REALLY expired”! I didn’t think it was a big deal. I waited a little longer and when I couldn’t keep the thought out of my head any more, I called the DMV. (Dreaded being the key word) I was told that when coming in to “re-new” my license, if I drove myself there, I would promptly be arrested.

I was at work that day and I can tell you EXACTLY what I was wearing – this is important to note for later in this little tale. My husband at the time (meaning that time period but still my husband now, although it WAS touch and go after this little episode) was home during the day with the kids so I called and asked him if he could drive me the half hour to the DMV so I could re-new my license.

He told me: 1) I was an idiot. 2) I’m supposed to know when my license expires. 3) He and all three kids were still in PJ’s.

I told him: 1) I know I’m an idiot what’s his excuse? 2) I AM supposed to know when my license expires but I had been a little busy being pregnant and stuff and 3) All he had to do was DRIVE – just throw the kids in the car in their jammies, himself included, they would just be in the parking lot the whole time anyway – hey maybe they would nap?!

Needless to say thirty minutes later we were stonily driving to the DMV about 40 minutes from my office.

When I got to the DMV it was unusually crowded. I didn’t take into consideration that it being in a college town it would be so busy. I left hubby and three wide awake kids in the van and presented my expired self to the oh-so-pleasant DMV employees. I was asked if I wanted to study first. STUDY? FOR WHAT? - For the written test I had to re-take of course. Ok, so this was not a problem, certainly I knew the rules by then so I took the test. After finishing – I’d say about 40 minutes later, I was then asked to wait for the officer. FOR WHAT? For the driving portion of the test of course.

At this point I KNEW I was in BIG TROUBLE. “REALLY, I said, because you told me I couldn’t drive here so what car are we taking this driving test IN?” The oh-so-pleasant employee asked me how I had gotten to the DMV and I told her I had gotten a ride, and she then asked where my ride was, and I told her in the parking lot and she said GREAT – here’s the officer now.

I began to speed walk to the waiting van with the “officer” closely following. I told him I had to just let my “ride” know and I’d call him over when we were ready. Here is what happened next:

The window rolled down

The sounds of crying from within the car came out

My husband wanted to know if I was INSANE?

I told him I didn’t think so.

There was a lot of swearing, you have got to be kidding me’s, more swearing and doors slamming.

I waved at the Officer so he would be assured that everything was just fine, and I’d be ready in a second….

My hubby in a t-shirt shorts and sandals, with a baby carrier in one hand, a toddler in pj’s on his hip and a small boy trailing behind in full Spiderman costume with (THANK GOD) sandals on and sticky up hair stormed past.

I told the Officer I was ready! Then nervously explained how my husband works nights and I sprung this on him, and normally the kids are all dressed and cleaned up by now, but today was ONE OF THOSE DAYS of course and he kindly told me to stop talking and start driving.

Keep in mind at this point I have come from work, so I am dressed up in skirt, blouse, heels, and hose. I have just left a van with three kids and an angry husband, where I was making bribes, giving kisses, being tugged at and well, nervously worrying about the state of my marriage.

The Officer and I have a nice leisurely drive (honestly at that point I was wondering what WAS the point of a slow drive with no parallel parking, no highway driving, just a nice, round the block drive?)– me feeling like a sixteen year old again and the Officer well now that I think back, having what is shaping up to be a very nice day if he does say so himself.

We arrive back at the DMV, and the Officer avoids looking me in the eye and tells me I have passed and rushes inside. As habit goes, I look down to see that my skirt is pulled up a little too far, and FOR GOD’S SAKE WHY ARE MY BUTTONS UN-DONE?? !! REALLY. I looked like – well I looked like I was desperate to pass this test. I wanted to shout after the Officer – Wait! My boobs are still a little too big from recently having a baby, and the kids were giving me hugs and kisses and well, gosh, never mind – Thanks for passing me!!

As I sheepishly walked towards the building, I can see my husband still holding the baby carrier, holding a now screaming toddler in the other arm and Spiderman twirling around him. He sees me, storms past and says he’ll see me in the car and I’m really in trouble now. I was worried for a minute – did he SEE my buttons un-done and think I would be purposefully so stupid?

Come to find out, another thirty minutes later (after all the paperwork was done) he told me in a REALLY angry, teeth clenching way a little story:

As he stood in the hallway with three disheveled, barefoot, pj’d kids, a man came into the building.

This man happened to be the same man with whom he had an interview with the day prior.

For the Engineering job – the one he REALLY wanted.

The man thought it was such a funny coincidence that their licenses expired at the same time.

He asked when the Hubby’s birthday was.

The hubby had to tell him, no- he was just giving his wife a ride to the DMV with three kids in tow, all in pj’s,- well for the heck of it!

The man told him he THOUGHT he looked a lot different than the day before!

He didn’t get the job.

I will never let my driver’s license expire again as long as I live. So today when I saw it, I checked the date – I do this habitually now. If for some reason I am in a coma and my license happens to expire, I will call a friend – one with no children and we will NEVER let my hubby know.

Just having a little chuckle – How are YOU?

What's Wrong With Me?

I think Steve Buscemi is somewhat attractive.

I have a full bottle of Windex immediately available at all times.(I have three going right now) It can usually be seen in the background of most of the pictures taken in our home. The kids joke about my other husband, “Dex”.

I take my shoes that I am going to wear from the closet, carry them to the back door, open the door, set them outside and step into them as I leave because I cannot wear shoes in my house ever.

I wear my bra all the time, even to bed because I watched an Oprah episode once with an elderly lady who had the perkiest boobs I have ever seen and she said it was because she never took her bra off.

I say the words “clean up” at least 10 times or more every day.

I say I have five thousand things to do every day.

I put a sticky note on the back of my phone when I am at work, with a list of things to do when I get home and sometimes it says things like: Vacuum, Clean, Laundry, Blog, Facebook, Exercise.

My bedroom clock is set 20 minutes fast and my alarm is set for 5am, I then hit snooze for at least 10-20 minutes every morning.


I know where every single thing in my house is supposed to be. My husband, kids and friends sometimes move one thing just to see if I will notice and I do – every single time. It really aggravates people. Just today, my husband made the bed – clean sheets and all, and he had two different pillowcases – the second I walked into the room I noticed – it even weirded ME out.

I love to read. (no, that is not the weird part) While reading a book, I panic that I am going to finish it soon and I have to go out and get another book to be at the ready. I do this same thing with shoes.

My robe is one I got from the hospital where my Mom worked when I was in High School.


I avoid turning left into traffic at all costs.

I love snow and I want it to snow about 10 months out of the year.

I freeze at night before I go to bed, am hot and cold during the night and then boil in the morning.

I have to be in charge of the remote and I keep my finger hovering over the pause button when watching a good show or movie. I haven’t watched live TV or commercials in years.

I love ketchup in my Macaroni and Cheese.

I can’t swallow a pill. Have to hide it in my food if I ever do have to take one.

But I'm not weird or anything, How about You?

Miss Piggy and Frito Breath

Yesterday at work several of us remembered our love of The Muppets when we were kids. It came up because one of the ladies had a sequined tank top on under her jacket with ample cleavage and well, we all thought of Miss Piggy’s chest. I remember Saturday nights AFTER the horrible Academic Challenge came on was Sha Na Na –still not sure what that one was about and then I think The Muppets - Or was The Muppets on Sunday nights? I can’t remember for sure now, but I do recall that The Academic Challenge music( still to this day) gave me the creeps because it always was the signal (7pm) that my parents were leaving to go out for the night. LEAVING ME ALONE WITH MY TWO OLDER BROTHERS – the second they walked out that door the two of the them were instantly on top of each other wrestling and punching- which they probably loved, but it scared the crap out of me every time. I think they did it BECAUSE it scared the crap out of me. Anyway back to The Muppets - we all re-called the Miss Piggy puppet we had and the calendar of her including a centerfold- When you think about it now it seems so ridiculous that someone first thought of a pig as resembling an attractive woman and that we all went for it! A pig and a Frog?? Come on! What were they slipping into the Kool Aide back then??

IMMEDIATLEY after work yesterday the hubby, kids and I had to go to an elementary school function. I am sorry but a gym full of screaming kids right after work makes me crazy. I have said before school functions make me feel like crying, I meant the kind where everyone sits in the auditorium and the kids are performing –this kind of function where parents sit and watch in horror as their kids run around and act like every other crazy kid, blowing their illusion that their child is sweet and mild mannered, is where I cry in pain and torture. As I sit at these kinds of things, I can just FEEL the germs attacking me. This event WAS with best intentions and the ladies who put it on did a great job. However, first mistake: Offering bags of Fritos. For some reason the smell of Fritos makes me just want to be sick and unfortunately for me, EVERYONE loves a miniature bag of Fritos and especially likes to eat them and talk to me at the same time. At one point my husband said he could see me from across the room being chatted up by a (very nice) man who happened to be eating Fritos with a vengeance, who also happened to be a close talker. He said he could just see the Fritos spraying out of the man’s mouth and the look on my face was priceless - a horrified smile and lots of nodding while slowly backing away. I remember this moment – I remember screaming in torture inside my head and yet knowing that my husband was across the room having a lovely conversation with two people who WERE NOT EATING anything and despising him immensely.

We then all piled into the auditorium to watch a Mad Scientist – the show was great and the guy was really enthusiastic – all the kids loved it and it made me think- if they only taught science like that every day, we would have mini mad scientists running around and all the problems of the world would be solved. During the show though, I had a young Mom on one side who I was beginning to fear wanted to just beat her small children for their antics and who finally just allowed them to roll on the floor while she twitched in aggravation. It was making me nervous – the twitching, knowing what she was thinking and the fact that these under three kids were rolling around on the floor – again, GERMS. On the other side of me were the group of kids who had to have their hands raised THE WHOLE TIME in anticipation that the Scientist guy would call on them to assist him. They held those arms up there so long they had to use the other arm to support it. So peripherally I could see a Mom twitching and little ones rolling, and constant waving arms. Needless to say I had the worst headache when we got home. Thank God for teachers who put up with this stuff daily – I COULD NOT DO IT. The funniest part of the night was watching the Mad Scientist who you could tell had done many a show and was becoming slightly jaded of the kids and must have had a new assistant. He would talk to her under his breath as though we couldn’t hear him but we could. As the night progressed he became more and more aggravated with her – and I have to admit it seemed as though it was her first night as the assistant or she was just not very bright. I pictured him leaving last night and getting in his car, to smoke a pack of cigarettes and then drinking heavily once he got home. No, readers this is NOT what I did – I was projecting it all on him!! I went home and begged my kids to NEVER NEVER eat another mini bag of Fritos again, and then I made myself all sexy for the froggy hubby in my Miss Piggy lingerie….. ;)

Thankful for weekends, How are You?