I've been a little crabby for a couple of days about a blog post that made me feel all defensive because I am a Mom and I work, and that I am taking part in "defeminizing America". It pushed my buttons but on the way home from work, as I thought of the following things I realized I need to point out some benefits I have over the "feminine stay at home Mom's" (as the author put it - see I am a Mom who happens to work/have a career outside of the home, and my friends that do not work are Moms. Period. NO LABELS NEEDED or ACRONYMS or 3- letter car de-cals and stick figures for that matter.)
Things I can do that even my best friend and sister-in-law who happens to be a Mom at home, agrees with:
1. I GET a shower before 7:30am with hot water, un-interrupted.
2. I wear real clothes every day. Sometimes trendy ones and HEELS! and MAKEUP! (and you say I'm not feminine?)
3. When I come home, three kids run to the door and greet me like I am the best thing they have seen all day.
4. When I am talking to a colleague who finds out I have three kids, they act like I am superwoman rather than take it for granted. Makes me feel awesome every single time.
5. Every single piece of amazing artwork comes with me to work.(and it's up to me whether it gets displayed or not)
6. I have the best excuse to NOT be able to: carpool, volunteer, lead, coach, emergency babysit and/or bake.....
7. I can give my kids chores and they do them because they want to help me out.
8. If I do not make a warm 3-course meal every night, no one complains.
9. No one asks me what I did all day in an accusatory tone.
10. When we run out of something needed from the store, I get asked to pick it up, not whined or yelled at that I forgot to buy it.
11. I get PAID to stay home sick, stay home with a sick child, take vacation and maternity leave. (I also on a rare,VERY RARE occasion get to even take a day off because one of the kids are sick -wink, wink.)
12. My vacations and days OFF are truly vacations and days off, and my Saturdays and Sundays feel like special days of the week. Heck, I always know what the date is and what day of the week it is.
13. My office is as clean as I want it to be, no one is messing it up AND I can put out any knick knacks I want without fear of it breaking, or being used as a play toy. (well some of my co-workers like to touch stuff too much, but I can slap them....)
14. I get to socialize and go out to lunch without the guilt.
15. WAIT - I get to EAT lunch! All ALONE if I want to...
16. If I need new clothes, I say - "Hon, I have to buy a new skirt for work." or, "That's my new briefcase, not a bag, silly." or "Yeah, he was towering over me so I had to buy some heels that were a little higher...."
17. I don't have to listen to or accidentally catch myself watching kid shows for hours on end.
18. My coffee is always HOT when I drink it.
19. On rare occasions I get to go out of town all by myself and no one thinks I'm being selfish.
19. I'll get to retire some day and stay at home with my grandchildren so my kids can have a career and it will be the most fun I have ever had.
Don't get me wrong, by reading the above then I must know and understand how much a woman who is also a Mom that happens to stay home during the day with her kids, gets the short end of the stick. Let's just remember that every situation is unique to every person.
I agree, being a working mom is no less feminine that being a stay at home mom!! I'm a stay at home mom and it's not all peaches and cream! I love it and I wouldn't change it but I have a lot of respect for a woman who works to support her family!! While stay at home moms work at home all day to clean the house and take care of the kids, working mothers work all day, come home, clean the house, make dinner, take care of the kids, etc. Hell, my mom was a working mom when I was a teenager and she could manage us kids over the phone while she was at work! I don't know what moron said that working mothers are less feminine than stay at home ones!! I know a lot of working moms who get all dressed up, wear makeup and heels to work and a lot of stay at home moms are home in pajamas and messy hair all day! Stay at home moms face a lot of crap for "not doing anything all day" but working moms also deal with that whole "well, why aren't you home with the kids?" You're right- there is no difference, we're all mommas, we all try to do the best we can for our families. In reality, we all have the same job, we're mommas! What we do between naps, diapers, school events, and so on is just something to do while we wait for the next hug from our kiddos.
ReplyDeletelady it's awesome that you are appreciate. and seriously, i think you ARE superwoman for doing it all.
ReplyDeletemore power to you!