If you are folding men’s t-shirts and underwear with holes in them you might be married for too long.
If you find the mates to all the socks it will be the most exciting thing that happens to you all year.
If you never have to turn clothes right side out, you don’t do the laundry.
If you fold and instantly put the clothes away, where they go- ALL OF THEM (and you are not a single person) you have NO life.
If you fold a dark towel, then a white sock, a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt and a blouse from the same load, you are either:
a shopaholic feeding your addiction
a man (please don’t be offended I AM a man when it comes to laundry!)
or living alone and never have enough of the right colors/textures to make a full load.
If you make more money doing laundry than you do at work, then keep doing the laundry!
If you wash rocks, pinecones, sticks, little cars, gum and batteries, you have boys in the house.
If you wash erasers in various shapes, Chapstick, candy wrappers, hair clips, and stickers you have girls in the house.
If you wash the family pet, the mall receipts, price tags, your pill and the car keys no one will believe it was an accident.
If you accidently ruin that Puce colored shirt your husband insists on wearing with the brand new hot pink bedding, and get away with it, you are smart.
If you need to use a lint roller after you take the clothes out of the dryer you might want to
A. Empty the lint trap.
B. Google – How to do Laundry, or
C. Do it often and you might get grounded from ever doing laundry again.
If you have to wash the clothes at least 3 times because they sit in the washer too long, you are not alone.
If you forget if you added the soap five seconds prior, adding another capful won’t hurt, -or so I am told.
If you don’t know where your iron even is, you take your clothes out of the dryer faster than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. (Contributed by the hubby b/c I don’t do laundry fast, ever)
If you iron your jeans and bed sheets, I’m glad I’m not your friend because then I would have to do that too.
If you have a knot tied so tight around a pair of pants by your bra- it’s a great reason to make a trip to Victoria’s Secret.
If you hang your clothes outside to dry, you are a show-off.
If you had a dryer that screamed and barked for months, your priorities are straight.
If your laundry room is the nicest room in the house, I feel sorry for you.
Yes, it’s Friday and I am doing laundry…..
Okay, what if you have more baskets of CLEAN laundry sitting around your house than you do dirty laundry? I "wash" and "dry" the clothes all the time (*isn't that technically the definition of "doing" laundry?) - it's the folding and putting away I have problems with. And sometimes - I even FOLD the laundry - and put it in the laundry basket (with the silly notion that it will make me put it away in a timely fashion). What, dear GAWD, does that say about me???
ReplyDeleteYou just had to bring up laundry didn't you? Being as mine is sitting, neglected in the hall! Thanks! ;)
ReplyDeletedoes it count if you have a clean pile (not folded)? i'm great about getting it done - i even fold and put away all of ron's (usually) the same day i wash it. not so much with my own socks and undies. they usually get dumped, sorted, mixed up, sorted, plowed through and finally - when it's about time to wash another load, get put away.
ReplyDeleteLordy, I hate laundry! Anything of Dh's that comes out inside out stays that way. I'm evil that way. I yell at the kids for throwing socks in the basket inside out. My new method is wash-dry-hang up clothes-everything else goes in the big brown chair in the livingroom until the pile is too huge for me to ignore it any longer.
ReplyDeleteI have left laundry in the washer, wet, so long, I've had to re-wash (it smelled). And I'm staring at two clean loads that have been sitting in baskets for two days! But that was a test...I just wanted to see if anyone cared that it wasn't getting folded. Great post!
ReplyDeleteYou'll be glad (though unsurprised, I'm sure) to know that I don't iron much of anything. I did, however, wash my son's iPod...one reason my husband does most of our laundry. :)
ReplyDeleteLaundry truths told in the style of Jeff Foxworthy...love it!
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the few household chores that will drive me to drink. I would rather scrub 20 toilets than do laundry. It's endless. It's the shitty gift that keeps on going. I've stopped reading about laundry systems, and tips and blah blah, because i'm the only one doing laundry EVER. I hope my husband sees this.
ReplyDeleteHey Kristen! I'm back again to let you know that my post today is about you and your funny definition for "cleavumbs". You won! I know there are bigger and better awards out there in which you actually get something tangible to hold or money or something, but...all I can offer you is...the post.
ReplyDeleteThis post was hilarious, by the way!! Ha! I love fact that you do laundry slow. I do, too. My husband is always complaining that I don't get the jeans out of the dryer RIGHT WHEN THEY'RE DONE. Hello, McFly! I'm not standing there all day waiting for it to finish!
ReplyDeletePart of the "prize" for Captcha Balderdash is that I pimp your blog for the day. I would want to do it even if you didn't win, because, as I said, this post is so funny! Anyway, I am going to post it on Twitter and Facebook right...NOW!
What's an 'iron'?
ReplyDeleteKimmie…I have that very same brown chair. But we call it a "chaise" ;-)
This is hysterical!
ReplyDeleteI have a confession. I LOVE doing laundry and covet after that laundry room.