You can eat a home cooked spaghetti dinner at a red vintage table. Frank Sinatra playing in the background.
You can be in a warm and cozy home with a little Christmas tree still lit up in the kitchen. Sounds of laughter in the background.
You can be in a room surrounded with pictures of loved ones no longer living. The hum of a dishwasher and washing machine in the background.
You can be in the dark in the softly falling snow with warm lights glowing from the windows. No sounds but your own breath in the crisp air.
You may not be alone. But you can be lonely.
You can make the decision to swallow your pride. To ignore the chaos and clutter. To know that being good at working hard may not make you Mom or Wife of the year. You can swallow the criticism and complaining and decide to enjoy the moments you have knowing that someday you will be alone and lonely.
You can decide to love yourself, the person you have become despite the mistakes. The mistakes may not be big life threatening ones. You are not alone and you can decide to not feel the lonely.
You can turn the sad off and be happy. No one will mind. They prefer the happy anyway.
You can be a mess and be funny. You don’t always have to get it right or have it perfectly clean. Because either way you do it you can always be friends with lonely another day. Lonely will always be there for you later.
Don't worry, alone has been one of my very closest friends keeping me company over the years. I have taken comfort in being alone, gotten mad at it, and embraced it. It's not a bad thing. Plus, it's good to visit it every once in awhile - it puts things into perspective, makes you see yourself better than looking into a mirror. Sometimes you choose being alone and sometimes you feel lonely, but sometimes you don't feel the loneliness at all.
