Buttons Resolved!

I've been a little crabby for a couple of days about a blog post that made me feel all defensive because I am a Mom and I work, and that I am taking part in "defeminizing America".  It pushed my buttons but on the way home from work, as I thought of the following things I realized I need to point out some benefits I have over the "feminine stay at home Mom's" (as the author put it - see I am a Mom who happens to work/have a career outside of the home,  and my friends that do not work are Moms. Period. NO LABELS NEEDED or ACRONYMS or 3- letter car de-cals and stick figures for that matter.)

Things I can do that even my best friend and sister-in-law who happens to be a Mom at home, agrees with:

1. I GET a shower before 7:30am with hot water, un-interrupted.

2. I wear real clothes every day.  Sometimes trendy ones and HEELS! and MAKEUP! (and you say I'm not feminine?)

3.  When I come home, three kids run to the door and greet me like I am the best thing they have seen all day.

4.  When I am talking to a colleague who finds out I have three kids, they act like I am superwoman rather than take it for granted. Makes me feel awesome every single time.

5.  Every single piece of amazing artwork comes with me to work.(and it's up to me whether it gets displayed or not)

6.  I have the best excuse to NOT be able to: carpool, volunteer, lead, coach, emergency babysit and/or bake.....

7.  I can give my kids chores and they do them because they want to help me out.

8.  If I do not make a warm 3-course meal every night, no one complains.

9.  No one asks me what I did all day in an accusatory tone.

10.  When we run out of something needed from the store, I get asked to pick it up, not whined or yelled at that I forgot to buy it.

11. I get PAID to stay home sick, stay home with a sick child, take vacation and maternity leave. (I also on a rare,VERY RARE occasion get to even take a day off because one of the kids are sick -wink, wink.)

12. My vacations and days OFF are truly vacations and days off, and my Saturdays and Sundays feel like special days of the week. Heck, I always know what the date is and what day of the week it is.

13.  My office is as clean as I want it to be, no one is messing it up AND I can put out any knick knacks I want without fear of it breaking, or being used as a play toy. (well some of my co-workers like to touch stuff too much, but I can slap them....)

14.  I get to socialize and go out to lunch without the guilt.

15.  WAIT - I get to EAT lunch! All ALONE if I want to...

16.  If I need new clothes, I say - "Hon, I have to buy a new skirt for work." or, "That's my new briefcase, not a bag, silly." or "Yeah, he was towering over me so I had to buy some heels that were a little higher...."

17.  I don't have to listen to or accidentally catch myself watching kid shows for hours on end.

18. My coffee is always HOT when I drink it.

19. On rare occasions I get to go out of town all by myself and no one thinks I'm being selfish.

19. I'll get to retire some day and stay at home with my grandchildren so my kids can have a career and it will be the most fun I have ever had.

Don't get me wrong, by reading the above then I must know and understand how much a woman who is also a Mom that happens to stay home during the day with her kids, gets the short end of the stick. Let's just remember that every situation is unique to every person.

Four more days and counting......

Just got done checking out all of the blogs I follow - (FYI, I read your every post! ) and Darn it, but my buttons got pushed. I hate when that happens!! Little lights and alarms are going off everywhere on me right now.  My feet were already STILL sore, my right contact is foggy creating a slowly progressing headache, my nose is stuffy and now, my buttons are pushed and stuck.  This poor blog post didn't KNOW that my parents are coming into town in four short days and I have to clean my house every day after work and then all over again right before they get here and then right after they leave! This poor blog post didn't know that today was a busy day at work and when I got home from work I had to create my student council  " vote for me for treasurer slogan"!  so it's not the blog post's fault OR the author - I quite like the author, I'm just a little sensitive I guess.  If you would like to check out what set me off: http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/2010/09/refeminization-of-america.html
and then, can you tell me just how to get these buttons un-stuck??

We do not buy a lot of everyday things that most people must buy.  We do buy lots of things as soon as we know company is coming though.  You would think I would have wizened up by now.
LIGHT BULB MOMENT!
 I should invite more people to stay with us, and we will purchase more things!! 

For example: Mattress pad cover - first of all, what is the purpose?? Neither my hubby or I wet the bed (anymore) and we kicked the kids out of our bed a long time ago, so just what is the purpose?  Well last night I found out.  A NEW mattress pad/cover stretchy thing that never seemed to fit until we bought a new one- well, it's to make you feel like the Princess from the Princess and the Pea.  But hey, we got a new one just for Mom and Dad.  Meanwhile the hubby and I are gearing up for our five nights stay in the girls bedroom.  It will be like a camp out! The girls will share the top bunk and the hubby and I will sleep together on the bottom! Can't wait!  We have also bought a new hamper. (I can hear you when you think those things about me!) The hamper had some fake wood bits missing, and the new one is much smaller so I will keep up with the laundry! YEAH FOR ME because I LOVE laundry - especially the whites load!
Next on the list: New sheets- I wonder if my parents will mind flannel snowflake sheets???

I have made the following statements to my kids in light of the visitors:

These five towels are not to be touched!  Use the ones with the holes in them that do not match, and when you dry your back they start to rip - those are YOUR towels, these five towels are NOT your towels.

To my teen: If I pay you $50, will you pretend that you like me and smile the whole time Nannie and Grandpa are here?

Do not touch ANYTHING, if you do, you will not do just about anything you like for the next ten years.

If you HAVE to use the toilet, please let me know so I can clean it when you are done.

Do you HAVE to use the eraser?? Can't you just cross it out??

Did you notice that I organized the medicine cabinet, the refrigerator, under the bed, the linen closet, my shoes, the garage, the silverware drawer, the bin the basement where we keep all the pictures JUST IN CASE someone looks in there???

My poor kids and my poor parents! It's NOT them, it's me. I am like this no matter who you are that is coming to my house.  I have no idea what it is, but everything has to be perfect - I am admittedly crazy and you know what? I have a blast the whole time they are here and I don't think they really care how every nook and cranny looks, but I have been presenting my house perfectly for so long, I couldn't possibly stop now......
Just a little uptight today and how are YOU!?

Missing my Friend

I 'm always jealous of women who have best girl friends, the ones whose  families do everything together.  Travel, play cards, and just hang out.  I don't know what happened but I find myself lacking those kinds of relationships and sometimes I miss it.  Growing up,  I didnt have a lot of close friends. There were girls I wanted to be friends with but it seems like I was the third wheel all the time. Mostly because we lived on a road with no other houses close-by and my parents both worked, so having friends over was difficult, plus my parents had a boat that we went on every weekend and all summer, so getting together with classmates was difficult.  I had friends for sure, and I have great memories of times with each of them, but for some reason we are no longer friends and I didn't develope a true best friend out of it.....  I had two older brothers so female companionship was rare. Don't get me wrong, my Mom was great - she was always there for me when something went wrong, we went shopping together and we watched movies together. Again GREAT memories , and my Grandma (Nannie) was another great female influence- always supportive as well as many other female relatives in my life, but none that I saw on a regular basis,  and now even my Mom is over 24 hours away.   I hung out with the boys in school more than the girls so by the time I went to college and met girlfriends, I don't know, I just was never able to hang on to them.  Maybe I was too close with my then boyfriend, now husband, who was and still is my very best friend. I know I gave up time with the girls to be with him whenever I could. 

I've made lots of friends throughout my career, but my career and family have always come first, so as I have left companies and positions, I tend to lose those relationships built as well. 

 I am super close to my sister-in-law, but even she has her own best friends.  So now, look at me, I'm whining about wanting a friend.  I'm sure it's all my fault, but still, it would be nice to have someone that you could talk to no matter what.  I look at my daughters and think how lucky they are because they are so close.  Back in the 40's and 50's it seems like friendships were more important then they are now and families were closer to each other.  I think those are the times I would like.  A lot of it has to do with being a working Mom - your priorities are so different and there is never enough time.  I know my friends that are stay at home Moms have many more girlfriends than I do.  I keep telling myself, I'll find my friend one day, that she is still out there, and thankfully I have plenty of time to develop a friendship with my daughters.  Like today, we went and got our toes done together and it was fun.  Maybe this is why I like to read so much - I become friends with the charachters but the books always end too fast.  I like to think that my experiences over the years would make me a good friend to someone, I just haven't quite found her yet. 

Feeling a little lonely today, and YOU?