I want a Zoila!

 I want a Zoila! (Pronounced Zoy-la) Do you watch Flipping Out on Bravo? If you do, you know who Zoila is and you also know that life would just be so much more fun with a Zoila in your life. If you don’t watch this show, and I highly recommend catching it at least once, because there are few people who wouldn’t find some humor in it, let me explain just what a Zoila is.


Zoila is a housekeeper from Nicaragua who speaks broken English and fluent Spanish. In this show she gives her employer a hard time and he gives it right back especially with his extreme OCD and extraordinary requests. I would like to just have her around whether she cleaned the house or not. Of course who wouldn’t want the inside of their refrigerator to have all labels facing out and organized by size – same with the kitchen cupboards and cabinets? (My husband cringes whenever they show how immaculately perfect everything is, because he knows at that point he has truly lost me –I’ve died and gone to heaven- a perfect, precise and orderly Heaven)

I am CERTAIN that having a Zoila around would mean that she could say NO when I cannot. Zoila is also pet friendly, so again, although we have two cats, I am NOT a cat person, but I couldn’t say no to the kids and I certainly couldn’t say no to the buy one get one free deal, therefore she could take care of the cats for me! But most importantly, I just want to have a Zoila to talk to, laugh with, and to keep me in line. OH! And to call me Kristen Burkley, not just Kristen. I adore how she refers to her boss as Jeffery Lewis every single time.

Come to think of it, I’d take a Jenni and a Jeff, Jett and his adorable baby, Trace and Sarah – they are ALL such LIKEABLE people. I really think I would do an awesome job working for Jeff too. I’ve had employers JUST LIKE him – one of them was 10x worse and it never bothered me. Probably the workaholic/OCD in me…. (Did I ever tell you about my Dad purposely putting a piece of LINT (yes, a tiny little bitty piece of lint) on the living room floor? At Dinner that night he asked us if we saw anything today? We couldn’t think of what the heck he was talking about – he said, You didn’t notice anything?? We were dumbfounded. So then he got up from the table, went over to the carpet and bent down and picked up this piece of lint and brought it to the table. He said, “ YOU DIDN’T SEE THIS ON THE FLOOR, THE TEN TIMES YOU WALKED PAST IT??? YOU COULDN’T BE BOTHERED TO PICK IT UP???” We never saw it. But I’ll tell you, from that day on, we never left so much as a thread lying around) Good Times!