T-H-A-N-K-S-G-I-V-I-N-G

T he parade. I love a good parade and no one else in my family seems to. One of my bucket list items is to go to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade someday even if I have to go alone with a Turkey leg. I don’t know what it is but I look forward to watching it every year and yes, I believe that is the REAL Santa Clause at the end. The problem is that I never seem to get to watch it from all the craziness going on. This year it starts at 9am (maybe that’s the problem; I never knew it started that early?) I’m watching it NO MATTER WHAT, even if I am all alone locked in a closet.

How I get out of helping in the kitchen, sitting at the kids table, and eating more without having to get seconds: I had three kids. As the youngest of three, my kids took my spot at the Kid’s Table. Those darned kids keep me really busy, so busy that it is REALLY hard to help out in the kitchen, darn it. I make sure I load their plates up with a sampling of everything, while I ignore their protests and tell them to just let me know when they are done, and I’ll clear their plates – LITERALLY.

Apple to Apples, Trivial Pursuit, even the dreaded Charades. I love family get-together game time. It really does bring out the best in everyone. The drunken ones are easy to beat, persuade, and cheat off of. The stodgy, “I hate games and won’t play them” types get to clean up the messes, babysit the kids, and break up the fights the game players get into. The competitive ones, well I know who they are as I am one of them. Bring it On!

No he/she didn’t. Family gatherings are THE BEST for this game. The hubby and I like to play it in the car on the way home. We swap stories of who said what, why they wore THAT, and what they did. The only problem is that as the kids get older they understand what we are saying better, plus they are awake longer in the car. Sometimes just before we fall asleep in bed later, I have to ask my husband to please clarify the story because I didn’t get his “code” earlier.

Keeping up with the Jones’s – This is more stressful to me than cooking, travelling, and planning. From making sure the car is shiny and immaculate to getting the kids hair to look normal. Holiday family/friend gatherings bring out the best in competitive life styles. From who has their Christmas shopping done, what they are buying the kids, who put up their decorations and what kind of travel plans they have for the winter, we tend to fall short on this one. Let’s just say we are the “keeping up” part, not the Jones’s. I like to hand out a little script to the kids of what they can say or reveal and how to dodge certain “questions” before we see The Jones’s.

Skeet shooting anyone? It’s been a long standing tradition in our family for the men to gather on the morning of Thanksgiving for some Manly games. It started with The Cranberry Bowl – a friendly game of tackle football. Now the men gather with guns for what they call skeet shooting but invariably it ends up as just a bunch of guys showing off their guns. You can count on MUD if it is not snowing, a lot of chest puffing and one or two bruised egos. I would like to change this tradition so that the men are inside cooking and taking care of the kids while the women are out back in my Wo-MAN cave playing a little poker or something.

Grazing –Here is my take on Thanksgiving. I get up early, drink lots of coffee to compensate for a busy day ahead, starve myself until it’s time to eat, get full super fast when we do finally eat and then by 7pm am starving again. In my opinion let the grazing begin first thing. Who needs a sit-down dinner?

I didn’t do it – This statement can be heard throughout any family gathering, from the adults to the kids. Whether it is figuring out who passed gas to who cut the expensive mannequin head up not realizing it was still being used by my beautician sister-in-law, to cleaning up broken glass. You can expect at least 2 out of three people saying “I didn’t do it!”

Vacation – I’m on vacation, I’m on vacation, da na na na nah. This is what I say while doing a little dance whenever it is a long holiday weekend and Thanksgiving is the best one all year!

I am so glad that’s not my kid – This is what everyone else says when we leave the party. It’s getting better as the kids get older, but I cannot tell you how many times the hubby or I have had to sit in the car with a temper tantrum throwing child. Now I just have to worry about keeping the 14 year olds eye rolls to a minimum, and the girls giggling after every relative with an issue walks by them.

New Clothes – Happy Thanksgiving, a week prior everyone MUST be marched to the store for something decent to wear and hopefully it will last through holiday parties, school productions and Christmas. If you’ve seen them in it on Thanksgiving, you can count on it being repeated 5 more times.

Going, Gone, Broke – This is the money in my bank account from a week before Thanksgiving until a month after Christmas. AT LEAST.

You know what? I wouldn’t have any of it any other way.

Happy Thanksgiving!