Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Why I will Never Do THAT Again

I promise that I will NEVER:
Drive so close to the back of your car that you can only see my head in your rear view as if I am just looming back there on a broom.

Drive close and honk my horn as if my close driving wasn't giving you a big enough hint.

Flash my lights at you while driving close and honking my car as if you might be blind and deaf, but still managing to drive.

Pass you erratically, while showing you my two longest fingers and then when I get past you, slowing down to your speed abruptly.

I vow not to do these things because:

FOR GOD'S SAKE PEOPLE, MY NEWLY TEMP-LICENSED KID IS DRIVING AND NO,
 I WILL NOT TELL HIM TO SPEED UP BECAUSE YOU ARE LATE FOR WHO-KNOWS-WHERE, IMPATIENT, OR JUST A COMPLETE IDIOT!!

I seriously wanted to get out of my car, walk to the car behind us, open the door and punch the idiots in the face! (this is something my husband actually did do once to an idiot driver - then he called the police and told them what he did)

 Do people just not think or have patience anymore??

whaaaaat. im already a bad driver.

and while we are on the topic of NOT doing something ever again:
Applebee's, Ruby Tuesday's,  or any restaurant that can't be bothered to clean their restrooms.

Start driving with no plan or direction, while hungry, thinking we will find a place we can all agree on to eat, and being forced to stop at one of the above places.

Continue to go back to the place that gave you the bad haircut the first time!

Go to the mall out of pure boredom on a rainy Saturday in Winter in the middle of the afternoon with three kids, dragging a hubby, with no real spending money in the wallet.

Go to an amusement park in the middle of summer on the hottest day with the highest humidity at it's most crowded time with three kids and even less money in the wallet after buying the tickets and feeling obligated to stay until closing, wearing the wrong footwear.

Agreeing to an At-Home party of any kind, in MY home.

Driving past a perfectly good gas station, thinking an even better one will most certainly appear soon that has a bathroom while saying "I'm like a camel - I can hold it forever", after drinking Starbucks.

Going to the bathroom in a gas station for any reason whatsoever.

Agreeing to just go and LOOK at the puppies and kittens at the Rescue Village place with three kids, dragging a hubby with no real spending money in the wallet and forgetting that we might want to leave the house one day for more than a few days at a time.

bad idea.

How about you? What would you Never do?


4 comments:

Kate said...

I was nodding my head and laughing throughout this whole thing

For me...judge someone else, bc every time I do, I get put firmly off my high horse by life.

Amy Cappelli said...

My oldest turns 16 in December. I wish I could slow down time. I'm not ready for him to get his learner's permit. I'm not ready to be in the passenger's seat while he's behind the wheel. And then, as you've pointed out, the world is full of crazy drivers.

And ewww to Applebees, and the mall, and humidity.

Hey Monkey Butt said...

yea, so I've done almost all of those you listed, with the exception of the first one! I vow not to do them again :)

Diplo_Daddy said...

I had to laugh, when I started reading your blog. The first part is exactly how people drive in Kuwait. Everything you mentioned; tail gating, honking horns, flashing lights and erratic driving, happens on a daily basis.