Wednesday, December 14, 2011


I wish my GPS could interact with me.  I would like it to be a GPS and a GPSsie.  Some days I could really use a man and some days only a woman could understand. 

If my GPS could talk, it would say things like:

"No, you are not stupid and yes, you WERE a teenager once too." (right after my oldest slams the door shut when I drop him off at school)

"Does your son have a tic?" (right after that last comment, after watching my son swirl his head around so his hair lays exactly right on his head.)

I forgot to add that the GPS can see into the car when I want it to.  This comes in handy when my eyelids are getting heavy -
"WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!"

or when I forgot to button my shirt all the way, forgot to put on mascara, or even better -
"Isn't it time for a little hair color, hon?"

GPS would compliment me - not in a sexy leering way, more like -
"You are soooo pretty, KRISTEN" (says my name and pretty in the same sentence!!)

and GPSsie would listen to me gossip without interrupting and of course would never judge me.

I would like my GPS male or female version to remind me NOT to go to a place I have vowed to never go back to and offer me comparable solutions.
I would like it to offer suggestions on how to maneuver out of the traffic.
I would like it to warn me that a police car is in the area.

My 45 minute drive to and from work would have a whole new meaning.  GPSsie could calm me down and remind me that the kids need more lunch money, a form signed, and what friend was mean to them the other day, because after all, they were there when the kids were talking over each other in the car last time.

GPS could use his deep voice when I am approaching the car in a dark parking lot and say -
"Don't forget we need to stop at the shooting range on the way home."

Oh, the possibilities of my own personal GPS.  Sure, there IS Siri (which I do not have) but GPS and GPSsie are so much more fun!
What do you want your GPS to do?


Kate said...

Ooh, I like GPSsie. I would even more like autopilot, or, better, a chauffeur.

dbs said...

Very clever idea. I want a GPS that will steer my wayward teens in the right direction.

Doria said...

Have you seen those new Jared commercials and the GPS ? Funny! I don't have a GPS because Im to stubborn and may never have one, buuuut that sounds like a neat gadget :)

Kimmie said...

Hmmmm...I wonder if my kids have enough lunch money in their accounts to get through til break. Crap.