Tuesday, April 12, 2011

From the Treadmill

The treadmill. Calling me as I type. It’s annoying. I hate it. But I have to use it rather than the nice outdoor walking trail, because if I am on the treadmill I can multi task. Here is a list of things I can do from my treadmill:

Go over spelling words with the youngest. I tend to go faster as she spells the words wrong.

Watch all my recorded TV shows. The problem being that the TV by the treadmill is not controllable by the remote. So at every commercial, I jump off the treadmill, run into the other room jog in place while fast forwarding, then run back to the treadmill and hop on while it is still at the speed I left it on. It actually gives me more exercise and it’s a challenge not to fall from rubber legs or hitting speed from a dead stop.

Iron. If you place the board over the treadmill, you can iron while walking. It does get a little confusing when using your arm from left to right while your legs are moving forward though, but with practice, it can be done. This is a good time to do steep incline mode so you can go slower while ironing. However, it makes you hate ironing more than you already did.


SHE can ride a bike and iron- THAT's talent


Monitor everyone’s movements in the house. With the treadmill in the basement, you are able to hear every single step of the people above you. You know when someone is in the bathroom, for how long and how many flushes it took. You know when someone is mad (little particles of dust falling is another sign to this one) You know when the cat has jumped down from somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be on top of. You know when the washer is un-balanced (falling ceiling tiles is another sign of that). It’s like being upstairs with your people even though you are in the dungeon of the basement, using the dreaded treadmill.

Folding Laundry. Since there is a never ending supply of laundry to be folded, there is always a reason to go walk on the treadmill. The problem here is folding the fitted sheets. Easy to get caught up into one and it’s a real pain getting the sheet out of the rollers under the treadmill.

Eating anything chocolate or something you have been hiding from everyone else. No one will suspect you are eating chocolate or their stash of cheetos from the treadmill. Nor will they come look for you in the basement.  Sometimes the whole house leaves while you are walking away and you never know, except the ceiling does get quiet.....

Playing a Board Game with one of the kids. They like to move all the pieces anyway, so really you are just there for moral support. This way they don’t feel like they are actually playing the game alone. All you have to do is read a card or toss the dice their way.

Check yourself out. There are mirrors in front of my treadmill. I have now perfected my treadmill strut. You know, just in case someone ever comes to visit me while I am in the dungeon. I will look very sexy with my treadmill perfected walk. I also can tell when my shorts are starting to ride up and retrieve them before they get too far…

Unfortunately, the movement messes with my eyes, and prevents me from reading, blogging, or writing. But I’m working on that.......



Come on, make me look bad - What can YOU do from the treadmill?

8 comments:

Kate said...

You are WONDER WOMAN!! I can just barely run on a treadmill. On my super-long treadmill run, i did manage to carry on a long text conversation (handy so the other person doesn't hear me gasping for breath). I love the bike or elliptical for reading, texting, blogging, watching tv, etc.

The Woven Moments said...

I can hang almost the entire contents of my closet on my treadmill, from which I can chose tomorrow's outfit choice. Top THAT.

Doria said...

The only treadmill I knew was the one at the gym, which I no longer go to, I could only watch tv. haha... My eyes didn't function very well on that thing. I hated the treadmill. Altho, have you seen the treadmill video. Lady you have to youtube that one. It's awesome what they can do with their treadmills! :)

Oilfield Trash said...

Treadmill and can iron, ha. Talk about multitasking.

The Schweitzers said...

I don't have a treadmill, but I have come close to causing a concussion, a bloody nose and a black eye while working out with the Wii (and then the kids run by.)

chris mcpeake said...

I hate the treadmill SO much no matter what else you can do at the same time. good luck with the training

Cheeseboy said...

Oh, I HATE our treadmill! My wife prefers it. Ours is so loud, we have to turn up the volume to the max level. The noise resonates through our house. I'd much rather just get some fresh air.

Kelley Simpson said...

I'm laughing right now and feeling a bit like I should be writing this from a treadmill... My fav was eating chocolate on it, genius!

However, my baby sister told me that her trainer told her that if you are able to read on the treadmill then you aren't working hard enough. Apparently, that trainer never met a mom who can multi-task, just saying.