There’s a snake in my boot!

Well, there could be.

I went for a walk tonight with one of my girls. A nice leisurely walk to enjoy the suddenly 70 degree temps, puffy white clouds and smells of barbecue’s from almost every other house. We were really enjoying ourselves – the diner style music from the town’s oldies car show was drifting down the street where we walked and a cute older lady with her cute black and white mini dog was walking toward us. She had a fisherman’s hat on and was eagerly approaching us with a juicy bit of neighborhood news.

“Did you hear about the snake on the loose?” she eagerly asked us.

“No………”

“Yep, a boa constrictor has gone missing and the police are telling everyone to be cautious”.

Then I notice the cop car at the end of the walkway, and a police woman walking around stopping whoever she could. She came toward us and told us that a Boa Constrictor has been missing since Monday and it was just reported. He is only about 7ft long, green, with brown spots. I told her where our house was and YEP. Right in that area is where he went missing. She couldn’t tell me who he belonged to though. She suggested closing windows, garage doors and keeping track of smallish animals and kids.

Gotcha.

Boa Constrictor on the loose.

Poop in the pool.

Putting a Surveillance camera on the house.

Where in the hell have I moved to???

A Dozen No. 2's

I love, love, love the smell of a freshly sharpened pencil. I even have three of those cool black No. 2 pencils sharpened, in my desk drawer at work and every once in a while I sniff them. (Hey at least it’s not a Sharpie) I don’t even use a pencil, EVER. But something about that smell, brings me back to the days when I had a desk whose top opened into a little mini-world of books, colored erasers, pencils with butterflies on them and bookmarks with fancy tassels.
So when it comes time to go get the kids school supplies, you can imagine that I get a little excited. Sure, it DOES set me back about $300 in just supplies alone and that is really annoying –I could do away with some of the expensive items needed like a $70.00 calculator, headphones, and every style of dry erase marker, highlighter and colored pencil ever made, but yet, hardly every used.

I actually get offended when the list says PLAIN colored folders in green, red and yellow. I want them to get the folders with the cool plaid print, favorite sports team, or cute kitten on it.  (maybe I am trying to make up for making them buy their lunches every day??)

I also get offended when I go to the school supply aisle and I see a drill sergeant mother tossing supplies into the cart like grenades with her kids in tow who are trying to keep up, but drooling over the composition book that has a colored design. I want her to let her kids pick out what they like. Let them get the impractical lunch box, and the hot pink book bag. It might cost a few more dollars, but isn’t it worth the joy they will feel going to school? Do we really have to make school a dreaded experience?

I have had the kid’s school supplies since the weekend after we moved. I am the first one to get supplies as soon as they stock them in the store. Mostly because I am excited to buy them, but also because I want the less picked over selections. I hope this makes the slightest difference with my kids when they head off to school. I hope they look at their folders and notebooks and it brings them a little smile.

So I read an article today about cutting school supply costs that should have been titled: How to Suck all the Joy out of Going Back to School. They had the gall to suggest not taking your child with you at all. If I sent the hubby alone, my kids would have folders with The Punisher or NRA logos on them.

The article also says to buy Generic. Sure, I agree to buy some things generic, but come on, a crayon is just not crayon unless it’s Crayola. Trust me, we’ve tried that route.

My favorite suggestion was to buy a backpack that will last for many years. I don’t think my kids would appreciate being in the 8th grade with a Strawberry Shortcake backpack. I know, I know, they meant buy a GENERIC back pack that is meant to last for many years. And, my son’s backpack in solid black was expensive and it HAS lasted several years. But he had 4 different versions of Spiderman from K-3rd grade and he loved every single one of them. I can guarantee we spent the same money on the 4 cheap but fun ones as we did on the expensive long lasting one.

Call me crazy, but yes, I DO buy new crayons and paints and markers each year. First of all when those things come back at the end of the year, the germ factor alone makes me run for the nearest garbage can. I’m not a complete waster, we do add most of it to the art project box, but when it comes to going back to school a brand new box of crayons might be a bright spot in an otherwise yucky day.



I have an idea – Let’s work on cutting the Prices, not the Fun.

Don't Drop the Kids off in MY Yard -

The bubble has burst.

It’s all fun and games until someone _ _ _ _ _ in the pool.

I left the house this morning; coffee cup in hand, pulled out of the garage, briefly admired my house for a moment (getting to be a little habit), glanced into the backyard and noticed the pool. Something not quite right over there. Got out of the car to get the hubby.

He reluctantly walked over to the pool. Took a look, looked into the woods, looked all around the pool area, and then said – “You’re going to have to come see it to believe it.”

        Last year my brother and family took the kids on a long weekend camping trip at the start of summer. The hubby and I should have done nothing but enjoy each other’s company but instead went out and bought the kids a pool. The kind of pool that stays up all summer, gets put away during the winter, but has the filter, chlorine, ladder, water comes up to my knees but I’ve been known to do some water aerobics in there.

The kids loved the surprise. We put it right outside of their bedroom windows and that pool was put to great use the rest of the summer. This year with the move, we got a late start. Then we had a small patching job, but finally the pool was permanently installed and put to use last weekend. The girls swam in it three times and on Saturday, I even got in and cooled off. Last night they had a friend over and I had to practically muzzle them to stop from screaming in excitement. (I have tried explaining going from no neighbors to lots of neighbors and using an indoor voice outside to no avail)

Everyone went to bed all tuckered out, happy in our little cozy home.

When I walked over to the pool and looked in, I saw what could have been a tree branch, a foot long and 8” wide hot dog, a log even, but in my heart I knew what I was looking at.

It was a POOP!

The water was streaming out at a good rate from three large knife holes in the side of the pool. The grass from the back of the yard to the woods and the flower bed was trampled.

I really wanted to believe this was from a LARGE animal, but I knew in my heart this was HUMAN POOP.

Someone entered our yard with a knife, got in the pool, did a LARGE “doodie” (and then some- yes….) and then stuck three giant holes in the pool.

The day went down the toilet from there.
Long story short, there is a very sick person living near us. We did call the police, they didn’t seem surprised, the neighbors had a few stories and basically it boils down to this: That little bubble I was living in has now burst. I am now fully aware that I am not living in a dream-land and that there are strange people everywhere. I’m trying to stay on the funny side of the story and on my drive home from work I thought about all the places I have lived and all the strange neighbors and weird situations I have been in and I’m trying really hard to not FREAK OUT.

I have now heard every horror story from everyone I know about someone who lives by them or did live near them. I have promised the kids a different swimming plan that they seem to be OK with, and I have considered adopting a very large adult guard dog for my yard.

I also have had the following suggestions:

Tell the Hell’s Angels their new meeting place is my backyard.

Invest in a paint gun and entice the person back with a disposable baby pool.

Get cameras installed (the police suggested this one)

Do DNA on the poop (Mom, I know you worked in a hospital but I just can’t seem to find the courage for this one)

Place a Porta-potty where the pool once sat.

Adopt a large adult dog.

Invite all the guys from work over for a backyard brawl.

Light up the backyard like a football field and encourage the local team to play all night long.

Record the hubby shooting his automatic weapon and play it on a reel periodically through the night.

Move

Forgettabout it.

I’ll keep you posted on my plan of action. For now, I’m just trying to get my bubble back.

There IS a difference between Horse and House

This weekend we took much needed time to just live in and enjoy our house. After the move we had a flurry of activities and a welcome visit from my parents for a week, so we really hadn’t just lived in the house yet with no plans or obligations or really big to-do items hanging over our heads. (note I said BIG to-do items, PLENTY of small ones though!)

Friday night we ate dinner right in our little town and afterward I walked to the coffee shop for a Chai Tea Latte and three huge chocolate chip muffins for the kids and walked home. It was so nice to be able to do this. The downfall was that on Sunday while checking out at a store I realized I had no bank card. I had to sit in my car for 30 minutes going over every detail of the weekend until I came to the conclusion that of course the hubby had the card and then after arguing we determined I had put the card in my pocket on the Friday walk home.
I called our son to check my pockets so I could drive home in peace and he told us it wasn’t there. Then we drove home with much tension. Me envisioning the card lying on a sidewalk in town, picked up by some kids who were now purchasing all kinds of video games, Monster drinks and expensive apps.
I found the card in the pocket hardest to reach for a teenager who was too bothered to thoroughly check all pockets.
Don’t worry kid, paybacks are hell and I’m going to start stockpiling the cash for future walks into town.

On Saturday I woke up at 6:30am –my favorite summer hour when I don’t have to work. The birds were starting to chatter, there was a really nice breeze coming in the windows and I realized that I could only see the treetops and fluffy white clouds from my bed. (I haven’t slept in an upstairs bedroom for awhile) This time of year is my favorite for outside noises. The cricket/cicada/ frog noises are my own personal rock band. It reminds me that my favorite time of year is approaching – Fall and Early winter.

I laid in bed for an hour while the house still slept and read a few chapters of a great book I am reading. (yes, READING- I am reading again. If you are an avid reader who has had a reading block, you understand what I mean when you get it back. It’s like writing for me, it comes and goes, but once you get it back it’s the best feeling ever)

I cleaned the house which at this point is still fun as I am continuing to discover things about the house and enjoying every bit of it. (I know, it won’t last much longer……)

yes, that is the hubby with a metal detector in the yard (don't ask) and believe it or not, that grass was cut only two days prior - apparently previous owner's dog peed fertilizer.

After yard work and some good sweat equity, We had a little backyard cookout and sat in our enclosed patio eating hotdogs, baked beans and chips listening to the summer night and the occasional clip clop of Amish buggies on the street. (This was only two hours after the hotdogs were started – for some reason the fire would not catch and after much swearing by the hubby and wiping off the newsprint from the dogs we eventually got there.)

We also had to take a trip back to the old house which we now call The Cabin. The new family there found some of the girl’s DS games under the fridge (thanks, kitties) and we had been putting off picking them up. I think we all were a little apprehensive about seeing the old place again.
The last time I was there I had gone with my sister in law to clean out the closets. I was exhausted at that point and hurried through the job, not really doing more than glancing at the emptiness of the house. The hubby and our son had spent much more time there alone, cleaning and scrubbing the carpets after we left.

I didn’t realize until after our visit how anxious I had been that it was not being loved the way we loved it.


But, the great news is that it looks amazing and the family there loves it as much as we did. They invited us in to see all that they had done and proudly showed us around. Their decorating style is completely opposite of ours but somehow it was exactly right. Their furniture was giant sized, yet it fit the house perfectly. I know this may seem strange to say, but it felt really happy and I said this at one point and we all got the chills. The new family was also very apprehensive about their move from far away; their son going to a new school, their family being apart until their other house sold, and they said they felt a really good spirit from the house.

We did drive away rather quickly however- While standing outside after the tour, I kept feeling something hitting my arms and back and could see out of the corner of my eyes these things flying around (they looked like tiny birds, really)
When we got to the car, I was horrified to see the largest fly’s I have ever seen in my life all over the windows. We flew into our seats and hightailed it out of there, and still had to stop at the end of the road to let a few stragglers out of the car, (and pull the kids out from under their seats where they had taken cover.) The hubby told me they were horse flies and I am not kidding you when I tell you that they had HAIR on them like a horse.
I could literally see their eyeball’s moving. At home we have a lot of (you might call them deer, I call them V) flies because of the rainy season we have had this year, and they are annoying but thankfully normal in size. Never in my life have I been exposed to these giant HORSE flies though. If we hadn’t moved when we did, you can bet, you would find me blogging about wanting to move right now.
I assume this new family had been exposed to this kind of thing before because they didn’t seem fazed by it, but they can relax, I will not be going back for old times’ sake, now – the thought of those giant fly’s will keep me away for good.

So, I guess you can say, I’m back. I think I have successfully completed yet another milestone in life.

The Big Move Re-Cap (then I promise all move talk is over)

Naps are just not enough sleep to live on.
Sneaking into our new house the night before we closed, which made sleeping that night impossible due to the excitement (not fazed by the legality – I do have my priorities).  the house could not have been cleaner so I was thrilled and then panicked that I didn’t have my old house clean enough yet.

The ham sandwich the hubby and I scarfed down in the parking lot of the agent’s before the two hours of paperwork signing. It was the last normal thing I ate for two weeks.
My last day of work for ten days and I couldn’t sit still. On my drive home I looked ridiculous with a huge goofy grin on my face, squirming in my seat. The plan WAS to go to the new house, put a few important things away, start painting and the big move would be on Saturday. (dream plan)

When I pulled into the driveway at home though, I was greeted with a medium sized U-haul truck almost full and the hubby and 14 year old son looking like a bad version of Two Men and a Truck. The bad news: U-Haul screwed up and we had this smallish truck until 10am the next morning with no other truck available for the long holiday weekend.

Until 10am, the three of us, (my two daughters carried anything and everything they were able to and to be honest I was amazed at how much they helped) loaded and unloaded that truck 4 more times, driving back and forth between houses. Thankfully the new house has an enormous garage and we were able to just unload everything into it.

I never even changed out of my work clothes. At one point we went to a gas station in the middle of the night and bought an array of junk food and water and laughed at ourselves – we decided that moving in the middle of the night in summer was a great plan to beat the heat, but having to walk quietly in and out of the truck and up and down the squeaky ramp so the neighbors wouldn’t kill us was not much fun.  We caught a nap in the wee hours of the morning – all five of us in our own random chair, surrounded by boxes.

The next morning by noon, it looked like we were having a party. I had the kitchen painter, the painter helper, the exterminator, the carpet cleaner and the cable guy all jockeying for parking position in the new driveway. It was several hours of car rotations and having to answer questions later that I got any kind of peace but absolutely no unpacking or emptying the garage.

After another night’s sleep in chairs we greeted our moving in helpers for the day. Of course it was raining and the carpets had just been cleaned. With all of the painting going on and the already sultry temps outside, the house was rain forest level humidity. I think our help saw the interior of the garage and had heart attacks in private. We ate the pie they brought us for lunch and dinner that day, and breakfast the next.   I THINK these people are still my friends, however, not if we move ever again.

Sunday the kids had enough and went on strike. The hubby and I were on our own. Our son was camped at the old house with a cot and one chair doing laundry and taking care of the cats that we had yet to move for fear of our lives. I snuck out with the little girls and took them to a diner where I ordered whatever they had healthy on the menu. Since we were the only ones there, they took pity on my sad story (and from the way I must have been walking) and gave me a grilled chicken breast, green beans and baked potato.  This was the best meal I had eaten in days. When I came back home, the hubby was eating a bag of nuts.

At one point our son called us from his cell phone – he was stuck in the bathroom because the adorable but impractical glass doorknobs were falling off and locking us in to odd places. I had gotten locked into the basement several hours prior WITHOUT my cell phone.

Monday more of the same but now it was the 4th of July holiday,  and despite no longer being able to feel my feet, we took the kids to see fireworks that night. (we HAD to do it) It was the first time in ten hours the hubby or I had sat down. When he did, I saw him reach into his pocket and pull out one of the glass door knobs from the door that had fallen off. We did get some funny looks from the people sitting next to us. I was really proud of myself though – I had managed to find a bag of pita chips, a jar of salsa and a big blanket. We inhaled the snacks through the fireworks display like it was a Thanksgiving Dinner. When we got back to the house, we were locked out and had to break in, and then buy a whole new door lock and set of keys. That was fun.

Tuesday was the day I worked until it was done (well the putting away and setting up that is) By the time I fell on the floor because I could no longer feel my feet I was sick. I layed there sick for over an hour. The girls read books next to me. (they weren’t overly concerned) The hubby eventually found me and surprised me with a present of Ugg flip flops (so comfy and NEW which meant I could wear them inside – yes my OCD will not allow me to wear shoes inside) which gave me just enough energy to take a shower. This would be the third night of broken sleep due to the cats getting into something because they were anxious about their new surroundings. At one point I woke up and yelled out – “I smell Pee !!– the cat Peed!!”, the hubby patted my back and I fell back to sleep. I had become paranoid in my exhaustion.

After that it’s a blur of feeling guilty so saying yes to the friend sleepover then regretting it, throwing the 8 year old an impromptu birthday party and making a donut cake, and various other completely not like me acts of kindness all while unpacking. I even took several walks into the new town we now live in with the kids despite the fact that I felt like I was walking on bony stubs.

We had a garbage disposal for the first time in a long time for a total of 5 days. Then the hubby threw some ice into it to mix up the Drano he had used and now we no longer have a garbage disposal. (I told him not to do it……)

The girls who have always shared a room, love their own rooms, but are found still sleeping together at night.

I have a list of things I have not yet found. (Like any cord/charger/connecting device for almost every single electronic device.) A list of things I need to buy (a new rug because someone tracked tar on the other one) and a list of things we need to do. (Like painting all of the trim because the painter’s tape ripped it off in small random sections)

But overall, the memories we made in the move, unlike my previous 13 moves, are like no other. I will cherish them forever.

Today is the first Saturday after a week back to work.  We were up at 6am starting our projects.  I seriously cannot wait until we are more settled and I can get back into writing.  Unfortunately all you home owners keep telling me it's never over..... SERIOUSLY???

WHEN PIGS FLY

Is when I will move again.  NEVER NEVER NEVER will I put myself through a move EVER again.  My middle toe is numb and I can barely walk.   I will die in this house before I move out of it.

We still have a mile long list of  things TO DO, but since I have internet and a few spare minutes I wanted to show you the before and after's SO FAR. Keep in mind there is a lot more to go and a LOT to tell you about. 

For only 1 week we've come pretty far:

 

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER -  and yes, that is a bottle of Windex of course!

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

 AFTER -but it has changed even more in the last few hours, because I had to throw together a Birthday Party for my 9 year old at the last minute.

Isn't this the cutest?

This room was solid Pink with Turquoise carpeting!

Our Hoosier Cabinet

Make-shift Pantry off the Kitchen

Bath off the Pantry




Off to work on that TO DO list........
See you soon!



Mother and Wife of the Year -Offers Moving Tips.

My Moving Tips


1. If in doubt, throw it out. (preferably when the kids aren’t looking)

2. Pack a lot of things in see-through garbage bags, this way if you want to throw something out, you can tell the kids, you are PACKING it, not throwing it away. (throw in a good DUH and roll of the eyes for a convincing performance.)

3. Caution: If you follow the rule of throwing out what doesn’t fit right now, you may not have much clothing to even move.

4. Use all of the stupid T-shirts your husband wears but you hate, as buffers for the breakables, then toss them with the empty box.

5. Convince your son that his sister’s bed is way better than his so he trades and you don’t have to buy a bed to fit in the new room.

6. Convince the hubby that the people moving in after you NEED all of the curtains – then you don’t have to wash them, iron them and you can get new ones.

7. Convince the hubby the curtains at the new house won’t cover well enough for true intimacy after he tells you new curtains are not in the budget and then you can get new ones.

8. Tell the kids “we are getting a new house” every time they ask you to buy something for them.

9. Tell the kids if they help with the move, the rewards will be amazing.

10. For up to one year after the move, tell the kids, “We have a NEW house”……. every time they ask for something new.

11. Tell the hubby for up to one year, “but I’m so tired from moving.”

12. Don’t let the kids or hubby read your blog.

and maybe get a Uhaul