Picture Perfect Weekend

We had the most beautiful weather weekend that we have seen in a long time - it was so nice it's hard to put it into words - so I won't.

Yes, this buggy does have two front legs and two back wheels.

Where we live, you cannot go to Wal Mart on Friday nights, (it's Amish shopping time) but we did because it's still a novelty to me.

My favorite store in town - I really wanted this, but had no idea where I would put it -The hubby did suggest the LAUNDRY ROOM but he doesn't understand DECORATION - DUH

All the shops have themed Scarecrows. This one tricks me EVERY time - I'm like waving and then I realize they are made of hay.

I'm loving my Halloween Decor

The kids love the Glow in the Dark soap.....

I went back to my favorite store and bought two night stands instead - YEAH, now I can read in bed again!

Got some work done around the house before the weather gets bad again.

I love seeing the Little House from my bedroom window - I often daydream about living in there where no one can find me.



Love this home made art/ super cute Save the Date postcard and of course the Lunch Menu



Bought a wreath made of book pages at the fair in town from a new neighbor.

The one in the middle is the quietest

The resevoir was as clear as glass this weekend.

I never tire of passing a simpler life - Ecspecially when I am running a million errands - I always say - "for one day, I would be Amish."

Fall Memories

Good Night

Noticed by One

I was feeling a little low, crabby, and well, ignored. I had been in the basement waiting on the dryer, and watching TV for 45 minutes and no one had come looking for me. I realized that if I left the house at that moment, no one would even notice I was gone.

So here’s me, walking out the door (after I grabbed a hoodie, my cell phone and made sure the clothes in the dryer were all folded)

Here’s me slipping out of the house. (After I banged the door shut of course)

Here’s me walking to nowhere in particular and there was me hoping someone would have stopped me to ask where I was going, what was wrong or at least where their favorite shirt was?

I walked past the house and now I was faced with the decision of where to go? As I was trying to determine how far I could walk I had just crossed the street and was five houses away getting really discouraged and melancholy when I heard a -

“Mom!”

I turned, slightly hopeful but doubtful and in the early evening light could not see anything so I kept walking and there it was again –

“Mom!”

This time I turned and waited for my eyes to focus and then I saw a small figure with hair flying and legs running. Running toward ME. While I watched her rushing towards me an overwhelming feeling of love hit me I couldn’t help but smile and catch my breath a little.

She said she saw me walk by from the upstairs window and wanted to catch up to me. She didn’t ask why I left without saying anything; she just gave me a giant hug, stuck her hand in mine and started walking with me.
Then she talked my ear off and told me tales to the likes of BIG FISH.

I guess I am not capable of sneaking away from at least one member of the house and I am very relieved.

When we got back to the house I could see through the window that the other three people were in the same spots not at all bothered by our disappearance and my walking buddy quickly ran off to another cause.

 I went back down to the basement and folded laundry.

Wanna Play a Little Multiple Choice?

With the weekend’s low 40 temps and pouring rain – Which statement is true:

A. My family and I looked like fools in our flip flops and summer clothes.

B. I realized I am completely unprepared for cool weather even though I have lived in Ohio my whole life.

C. I need to buy three winter coats, five hats, five sets of gloves, 4 pairs of boots, 5 pairs of jeans, socks, hoodies, long sleeve shirts – A LOT OF STUFF NOW.

D. I will have to get a third  fourth job to pay for all of it.

E. All of the above.

We didn't look this happy - or this GOOD ....

We went to the DREADED mall. Which statement is true:

A. We did not get anything we were looking for, despite going into every store and yet I have no money left.

B. I realized exactly why I hate the mall and vowed to not go back.

C. The hubby got annoyed with our shopping style and left five minutes in,  “to get the car”.

D. I still smell the odd combination of cologne from Abercrombie and pumpkin spice candles from Bed Bath & Beyond in my nostrils and all over my clothes DAYS later.

E. ALL OF THE ABOVE

Life doesn't get any WORSE when you get stuck holding the bag......

The kids and their cousins found our Yearbook. Which statement is true:

A. They laughed hysterically at the size of our computers. (they first had to make sure that is what those even were.

B. They laughed hysterically at every single person in the yearbook.

C. They no longer respect or trust us when it comes to fashion advice.

D. They all asked at the same time in the same tone of voice,  “WAIT, SO YOU AND AUNT MICHELLE BOTH DATED DAD??”

E. All of the above.

This is not my yearbook but I swear these are the SAME pictures..... Only in the 80's,,,,

I specifically put something somewhere when we moved so I wouldn’t lose it. Which statement is true:

A . I cannot remember where I put it FOR THE LIFE OF ME.

B. I have torn the entire house apart looking for it. Three times.

C. I have blamed each person in our family by saying that I swear I asked THEM to put it in a certain spot where it is not.

D. I was driving the hubby so crazy that he went out in the pouring rain to replace it so I would shut up.

E. All of the above.

There is no picture to describe my frustration here.

What statement describes my current pet situation?

A. We have two cats that are paid for that have been real lemons in my opinion, and one cat that just showed up and will not leave that is actually very nice. Weird how the rescue place that sold us those cats won't return our calls about the stray....

B. One of the cats I paid for has paid me back by periodically pooping at random in places that are not designated pooping areas.  I have done everything including yellow flashing lights indicating the designated area is HERE.

C. Everyone has advice on how to find a home for the stray cat, but secretly they are laughing behind my back and heaving huge sighs of relief that it is not them.  Funny, I haven't seen the neighbors lately.....

D. The kids have asked me in the last three days for the following pets: rat, turtle, bunny, dog, lizard and flamingo. 

E. All of the Above.

The hubby and I almost divorced over which of the following:

A. Our daughter asked him to sign her assignment book.

B. The hubby signed his initials in pink magic marker.

C. The teacher told our daughter to tell her Dad to sign his full name next time.

D. The hubby told our daughter to tell the teacher to write him a note about that.

E. I was present at the end of ALL OF THE ABOVE and didn’t speak to him for two days.

The picture for this one was a little violent so I scrapped it.

I am trying out Twitter. Which statement is true:

A. Several of my followers have pornographic websites in their profiles, yet their tweets are all about healthy living.

B. I tweet, wait, tweet again, wait some more and then wonder what in the hell I am doing.

C. My tweets are like being at home – no one is listening and no one really cares.

D. My tweets popped up on Facebook and I have no idea how or why. Now I feel like I am back using one of those big box computers the kids were laughing at so much. LOSER.

E. All of the above.

Now don't you all feel just a little better on Monday?

Random Me

A great CONSISTENT blogger over at: The Woven Moments  included me in her list of other bloggers to write 7 Random Facts.  She's sweet, but I'm not sure mine are as interesting as her's. My blog is a running rant of random me but I will try to give you something you don’t already know:

I don’t cook. DON’T being the key word. I CAN, I HAVE, but it is one of the things I have completely cut out of my life and I do not know why. Don’t worry none of us are starving and I did not have a bad experience in the kitchen.  The funny thing is I love cooking shows, I love kitchens and all utensils and food in general. I can even talk about food, how to make it taste better, what to make, but when it comes to DOING IT, I’m MIA. My dislike for shopping runs over into grocery stores so that might be part of it. (and I am not a fan of making a mess) I think when I retire, I will become a baker and a cook extraordinaire – there is still time.

 

I often crave movies. I know it sounds weird, but randomly throughout the day, something will trigger a craving and a movie will pop into my head. Recently, I have been craving to see Gremlins. Weird, right? But I was thinking about Christmas, and then said to myself –“STOP it’s not even Halloween yet”, and Gremlins, popped into my head. The funny thing is that I rarely do watch a movie more than once –it just doesn’t have the same effect UNLESS someone else is watching it for the first time with me –then I want them to have the same reactions as I did. When people get a movie like I did it makes the movie that much better. (Watch the Elephant in the Living Room and invite me over....)

Grandma making Gang Signs

I love old people. I am a huge fan of playing old fashioned board games, bocce, cards, and bingo. Usually those are the only people that will play them with me. I love listening to their stories, and watching their faces light up with memories. I really love that they are always full of compliments yet ornery as Hell. I even love to watch them drive – I can still remember my Nannie’s hands on the steering wheel of her car at exactly three and nine o’clock. The steering wheel seemed so big in her hands and the pedals so far away from her short legs. She was so precise in her driving. Slow as well, but she noticed everything. Next time you go to Wal-Mart, why yes, that is me hanging out with the greeter. (They can be talked into a quick game of Ghost every time)

Radio Disc Jockey. That is a secret job I want.

I have a version of OCD (Out of Control Disorder) I am a control freak. It sucks. If you touch it and move it –I will move it back. It’s not that I mind you touching it, but I can’t just let you do it without me doing it too. I can walk in a room and know what has been moved or touched. It becomes a game with my family and friends. (Not a fan of this game) The nice thing is that I am super organized, everything is in order, and I have lots of sticky notes and lists to keep it that way. (I have actually been known to write down on a list to move the coasters back when the company leaves)

This kind of decorating appeals to me:

Weird, because I want to decorate with lots and lots of THINGS, but I don't want them to be moved around or touched too much.... (it's a sickness.)

I am fascinated by people who are in the circus and circuses in general.  It intrigues me.

and that is Random me.

Cat Tale

Just another adventure in the New House Saga. A toddler (not a cute little kitten, but definitely not full grown) cat has chosen our back door step to call home. (When she is not hiding out under the grill cover or sleeping on my daughter’s window sill)

I grew up with cats; I liked them, a lot. But something happened when I left for college, got married and had three kids. I just didn’t like cats anymore. Probably because over the years I have become more germophobic and OCD in the cleaning department. Could also be because whenever I touch a cat or think about touching a cat my eyes swell up and itch like crazy. If you have read me you know we ended up with two cats for the kids when their guinea pig died in front of them on the first day of summer two summers ago. I now have two pre-teen cats that I never touch but clean out their cat boxes every morning. I am not a fan, but I tolerate them on most days and have minor meltdowns and internal temper tantrums on other days.

The hubby is an animal lover and everywhere we go, animals of all kinds are attracted to him and love him. In college he had a pet squirrel. Must be his amazing heart and spirit. Apparently something I am lacking.

I do not want to be responsible for this cat, I do not want to pay for it. I do not want my kids to become attached.

In the last week we have:

Fed the cat twice a day – it eats the can of food every single time like it hasn’t eaten food in months. Last night we bought 5 more cans of cat food.

Given the cat water to drink (the kids think it likes bottled water best…..)

Given the cat a place to rest its head in our dry/warm garage with an old comforter.

Jumped a mile each, every time we look out a window and see its little face peering in.

Checked it for claws/sex and determined its paw is not hurt despite the fact that SHE raises it every time she sits up.

Put her on a waiting list to be spayed, and adopted both of which have very long waiting times.

Yelled at our house bound kitties to stop harassing the cat on the other side of the window. (as if they are taunting it)

Named her Katie. (my sweet little girl with an equally large heart and spirit as her Dad lovingly wrote a note to go with her in case someone adopts her describing her every tic.)

Despite my best intentions, I am pretty sure we now own one female toddler OUTDOOR cat.

GOSH DARN IT ALL.

I try to tell myself, enjoy the little moments in life. But try as I might this one aggravates the heck out of me.

Lobster Litany

I might have eaten Lobster off of someone else’s fork ONCE before in my life. It might have been at a Red Lobster.

I ate Caviar when I was 11. I was at a fancy brunch with my friend. We were getting food from the buffet and the “blackberry” jam on hard toast looked really yummy. My first acting lesson happened when I put the jam covered toast in my mouth and quickly discovered there was no sweet explosion of berry taste happening in my mouth. I made it through the chew and swallow ordeal by squeezing my legs together under the table so hard I had bruises later and tears in my eyes then. I told them it was fantastic.

I grew to like bleu cheese, brie, portabellas, sushi and a few other delicacies but living in the middle of Amish country, I tend to eat your standard fare on a regular basis. So I was excited to be invited to my first clam bake and order one Lobster for myself.
On Friday someone at work said, “Oh you will love the Lobster tail – have fun!”

So of course I was picturing yummy Lobster tail.

I’m not stupid; I have seen live lobsters in the tank at the grocery store. You have to keep them alive to be fresh, I get it. I know what I am eating. I know they have to dump them in boiling water to kill/cook them. I just didn’t THINK or KNOW that at a clam bake, there is a cardboard box sitting on the deck filled with live lobsters awaiting their death. I didn’t KNOW or THINK the lid would be removed and the kids and men would be lifting the lobsters out of the box to touch them, talk to them, ohhh and awww over them. I didn’t plan on seeing those 10? Little back legs moving all about…..

I left the scene when I was pretty sure they were going to be cooked. I heard the men talking about the screaming to scare the kids. I broke the news to MY kids what was going to happen and that I did order one of their tails to eat and the tail would be at our table.

So when someone called me over and plopped a whole red lobster on my plate, I knew my old acting lessons were being called to action.

I took that plate which was much heavier than I planned like a champ. The tentacles were dipping into my salad and stabbing the skin of my baked potato, and the beady little eyes were aimed my way, but I took that plate and walked through the crowd like I owned it.

Inside, I was screaming:
“WHAT??, WHAT?? I AM GETTING A WHOLE DAMN LOBSTER, JUST FRESH OUT OF THE BOILING WATER?????? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS THING? WE PAID HOW MUCH FOR THIS??? WHAT??? THIS IS GROSS…….!!!!!”

Thinking quickly, I knew I couldn’t go back to my table just yet. I needed to figure out what to do. I felt like I had a few moments earlier when I was in the bathroom and there was no toilet paper left. I McGyver-ed my way out of that one, I could MacGyver my way out of this too.

I followed the guy in front of me who had two full plates of lobsters. Unfortunately he was sitting pretty far from where my table was. His table was inside, so through the crowd I went staring at the back of his Polo Jacket all the way and NOT at the beady eyes of my soon to be dinner partner. The guy was greeted with cheers at his table when they saw the lobsters. I quickly looked around and found a spot to rest my plate in an inconspicuous corner (On top of a pinball machine) and watched the action. Once I saw how they ripped the lobster apart, I left my post with complete and utter dread. I walked heavily back to my table outside knowing what I was going to have to do. I passed two garbage cans and I am telling you I would have dumped that dead cockroach right in there if those garbage cans were not being watched.

I know you are all yelling at me right now. I am sorry. I do eat meat. I love red meat. I do. I know animals die/are killed in order for me to eat them. But they do not get dumped into boiling water and then immediately put onto my plate for me to do the ripping apart of. I do not purchase them with legs, eyes and antennae intact. There is a difference. If I go to a pig roast, I see the pig, but my final plate does not come with the pig’s nose on it.

So I sat at my table. The picnic table where I had to elegantly place myself into the middle of, one leg at a time while holding my lobster laden plate so as not to let it fall on the head of my child.
The hubby glanced over while eating his CHICKEN and I knew not to look into those eyes. I picked up that lobster and gave it all I got; I pulled the tail right off while clutching the little shriveled up legs and head, its eyes squishing into my palm. The tail came off pretty easy but there was liquid pouring out. I put the remaining body on the table in front of me and felt at this point I could deal with the tail. UNTIL the guy across from me said – “Hey, you can eat the claws too – pull those off.” I smiled at him.

Thanks buddy, got it.

I think I was able to get three teeny tiny bites out of that Lobster. I scraped and dug and worked it like an expert but all I could get were these measly pieces. I was like an ice princess with my Lobster body. Calm, Cool and Collected. I offered the claws to the other men at the table and played it like I was one of those girls who are too full after two bites of dinner. Meanwhile, everyone else was eating like champs.

Later in the night someone got hungry and starting eating clams and I had one of those moments where the words came out of my mouth but I wanted to Hoover them back in: “I’ve never had clams”, so I was given a piece of clam and I have to say, it beat the heck out of lobster. Despite the mouthful of sand.

I will never eat Lobster again. Lobster and Caviar and Venison. Not happening. No way. No how.

Amen.

Hotel for Cheaters

They built a hotel for cheaters in the town we were living in. This was an extremely family friendly, with excellent schools, conservative quaint little town. But just off the highway in an industrial area, a little hotel was built. It was tucked way back in-between the warehouses. It was advertised in a way that made it very clear it was for Cheaters. Not like the kind of cheaters in cards or Monopoly either.

The kind of cheaters that might like a hotel that is advertised as Out of the Way. Each room with its own private entrance inside a private garage for your car.  No windows and rooms that come with indoor hot tubs, showers built for two, king size beds and PLENTY of privacy. No check in or out.

There was a lot of controversy over it, so of course as soon as it opened the hubby made reservations. How fun would it be to stay in a Cheaters Hotel BEFORE all the cheaters got there and NOT be cheating?? Kind of like we were cheating the cheaters….

I have to say this was one of my most memorable weekends. –NOT in the way you think ONLY, but because it was the first time in a long time we got away, just the two of us. We splurged on an overnight sitter for the three kids, it was mid-December and snowing, (one of my favorite things) and we were just getting over a scary time of the hubby being the hospital after his recent diagnosis with MS. We hadn’t gotten any Christmas shopping done yet and we were panicking. Across from the hotel  there was an outdoor shopping mall also very new, with our favorite shops and a plan was set in place.

We did the mysterious check in (the hubby was instructed to check in earlier in the day and was given a remote for the private garage door entrance) we admired the in- room Jacuzzi, lack of windows, big TV and huge bed. Like any married couple with three kids we headed for dinner, coffee and a walk in the snow covered walkways decorated with Christmas lights. As you know, I can picture exactly what I was wearing and I can still taste the peppermint mocha, feel the snowflakes and remember the quiet on our walk.

The following day we did all of our Christmas shopping in one swoop, were lucky to have found a rare shipment of Wii’s in a random store and convinced the clerk one of them belonged to us and not the several other people waiting in line, and then went back to the room to wrap all the gifts.

We cheated a lot that weekend – We cheated the cheaters, the kids, the shoppers, Christmas, and our recent string of bad luck. It was one of the best weekends I have ever had.