Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I take the WORST pictures. SERIOUSLY the WORST.
I don’t mean me as the photographer, although I kind of suck at that too. I mean me as the subject. I am surprised I have not broken a few cameras. (Still talking about me as the subject.)
I look like I weigh at least 50lbs more than I really do. The skin under my chin must love when the camera comes out because it takes a better picture than I do. My eyes are always half shut, my hair looks 5x bigger than it is and my boobs look like torpedo’s.
I took a picture with my girls the other day and my daughter’s head comes up to my chest. In the picture, she looked like she had a large growth coming out of her face that was actually my boob.
Speaking of boobs – my bra SHINES right through my shirts in pictures. EVERY TIME.
In the last 5 years, I have approximately 5 pictures of myself and they are ALL AWFUL.
If someone TAGS me in a picture on Facebook, I am HORRIFIED (they really should not be allowed to do that without your permission) especially if it was a few days ago and I didn't have time to delete it. My friends on the other hand are all super models. Yes, even the guys.... (no wonder they were friends with me - I made them look better!)
It is really depressing to think you look one way (I DO look in the mirror) and then on paper or screen you look 10x bigger and more horrible than you could ever imagine.
What is even worse, the ONE picture I do not mind is my Drivers License picture. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Who takes a good DMV photo?? People who take BAD PICTURES, that's who.
It’s going to expire next year. Do you think they would let me keep it??
If you do EVER see a picture of me, it’s because it is the best I’ve got. But please remember, it’s at least 3x worse than I look in person.
Yes, I am blaming this all on my ability to TAKE A PICTURE, otherwise, I will be VERY depressed.