Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Say Cheese!

I take the WORST pictures. SERIOUSLY the WORST.

I don’t mean me as the photographer, although I kind of suck at that too. I mean me as the subject. I am surprised I have not broken a few cameras. (Still talking about me as the subject.)

I look like I weigh at least 50lbs more than I really do. The skin under my chin must love when the camera comes out because it takes a better picture than I do. My eyes are always half shut, my hair looks 5x bigger than it is and my boobs look like torpedo’s.

I took a picture with my girls the other day and my daughter’s head comes up to my chest. In the picture, she looked like she had a large growth coming out of her face that was actually my boob.

Speaking of boobs – my bra SHINES right through my shirts in pictures. EVERY TIME.

In the last 5 years, I have approximately 5 pictures of myself and they are ALL AWFUL.

If someone TAGS me in a picture on Facebook, I am HORRIFIED (they really should not be allowed to do that without your permission) especially if it was a few days ago and I didn't have time to delete it.  My friends on the other hand are all super models.  Yes, even the guys.... (no wonder they were friends with me - I made them look better!)

It is really depressing to think you look one way (I DO look in the mirror) and then on paper or screen you look 10x bigger and more horrible than you could ever imagine.

What is even worse, the ONE picture I do not mind is my Drivers License picture. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Who takes a good DMV photo?? People who take BAD PICTURES, that's who.
It’s going to expire next year. Do you think they would let me keep it??

If you do EVER see a picture of me, it’s because it is the best I’ve got. But please remember, it’s at least 3x worse than I look in person.

Yes, I am blaming this all on my ability to TAKE A PICTURE, otherwise, I will be VERY depressed.


Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

OMG! How funny! You sound just like me. I had a DMV picture one year that was so good I asked if they could make some 8 x 10 glossy copies for me. Needless to say, they were not nearly as amused as they should have been. Even though it has expired I have saved that license.

Diplo_Daddy said...

Love the pedicure!

Kelley said...

You are crazy! I've seen pictures of you and you are beautiful! I know how you feel, though. There is a picture from October and I LOOK HUGE. I'm actually depressed about weight at the moment. I need to put the fork down and avoid the sugar. I just can't get REALLY motivated!

The Schweitzers said...

Oh how I've missed reading you with my new crazy schedule getting in the way! That said, two words...photoshop. Okay one. But I agree, I think you're beautiful. But I understand your pain, I run or hide behind whatever tall person happens to be close.

Prasetyo said...

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Doria said...

Arg I've been struggling with this for a bit now as well. It sucks. It takes me about 15 attempts to get one Im semi happy with.

Kimmie said...

LOL.....I've gotten to the point where I'd rather see the butt-old college/highschool pics of me on Facebook than current pics.