Monday, February 7, 2011

Sniffle, Cough, Plop - Not the Sounds my Cereal Makes

I feel so bad for anyone who came within ear shot of me today. Normally I am a quiet person with little to no extra-curricular noises. Seriously, it has been a topic of conversation:  "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE NEVER BURPED OUT LOUD??"(one of my girls did the other day and I was secretly horrified and in awe all at the same time...)
I detest mouth/nose noises in my own family let alone from strangers. It’s gotten worse over the years too. If someone is sitting near me and I can hear them eating, moving their lips or chewing, I have to sly-ly move away…..
So today, I was the culprit and it made me feel worse than I already did. I didn't even want to be near me.

Today my noises consisted of:
Sneezing, (I counted 35 total sneezes from 8am-5pm – not including the ones in my car)

The sound of me testing my left nasal passage. You know you aren’t breathing through it but every once in awhile you need confirmation by trying it. “Yep, no air getting through.”
“Still not working.”
 “Nope, not working this time either.”

Mouth breathing. I feel completely unattractive as it is, with my red rimmed nose, red cheeks, my eyes are twitching, let alone my dry lips but open mouth breathing is by far the worst of my features today.

My having to explain to everyone that I spoke to on the phone: “No, I am not as sexy as I may sound, at least not today.”
“ No, my voice is not normally this husky, but thanks for asking.”
 “Yes, I do have a cold, thanks for noticing my attempts at trying to hide it.”
"Please tell him SHE called."

I did attempt a few bars of James Brown’s I Feel Good, to see if singing it in my new sexy deep voice would actually work.
I even tried to skip. My equilibrium is a bit off so it was a comical sight.
It didn’t really work except that I did have to laugh at myself.

I really dislike not feeling good. I'm like the best of men in this way. 
If you read me you will know that I can't swallow a pill, therefore I will refuse to take anything.  Making myself and everyone else suffer is so much better.
I can be sick at work, but once I leave this job and head to my AT HOME job, there is NO time for being sick.
Red nose - it's a sign that you live with someone who buys bulk in paper towels and septic safe toilet paper but NEVER soft tissues.  I had to go to work today in order to blow my sore nose into a tissue!
I am horrible about ever calling off of work, so unfortunately I will drag myself in under almost any circumstance. Therefore those around me just have to put up with it.

Feeling better already– How are you?


hed said...

Ack! I hate how being sick COMPLETELY throws you off your game! I command you to buy tissues-they will make at least your nose feel better :)


Cheeseboy said...

If it is a deep, cold "sexy" voice, I can assure you, it's not sexy. At least on my wife.

Cool that you count your sneezes. I need to start doing that.

bec. said...

Hope you feel better soon!! :)

The Schweitzers said...

Getting over the crud myself. But the MAIN question is, where can I get a tissue box like that one?!