Friday, March 25, 2011
The Little Things –
I cut my legs shaving 4 times today. Either someone sabotaged my razor, or maybe antibiotics make your skin thin?? I don’t know what it is but teeny tiny razor cuts hurt as bad as hangnails and papercuts.
I was screaming and swearing in the bathroom for no one to hear but myself. I was so frustrated. Apparently it is my job to handle all things poop.
I scoop the cat poop, I clean the toilets, I wiped three little butts for a total of nine years. I even once removed someone else’s poop from a toilet because it magically appeared while I was in the bathroom and wouldn’t flush. I didn’t want to be accused of leaving it, so logically I removed it, threw it in the garbage and then took the garbage outside. Poor garbage men……
The straw that broke this camel’s back is when I couldn’t figure out what the white stuff was stuck to the toilet when I got home from work. When I figured out that it was toilet paper that had gotten there when the toilet clogged and over-flowed and was never cleaned up properly, I went a little bat sh*$. (Pun, intended) and used some colorful language appropriate for the bathroom only. Those words sounded nice in an echo-y room and made me feel slightly better.
My daughter has a friend over and for the first time since I was a kid, I have just heard this sentence:
“We’re booooooreddddd, what can we dooooooo?” Now putting my entertainment director uniform on.
(I have some toilets you can clean….)
I found a long hair in my eyebrow this morning AND realized that for the first time ever, I just hired someone who could be my child. Literally. I am old enough to be his mother. I am really disturbed by both of these things. The long hair in my eyebrow and that I am now old enough to be someone’s Mom who is old enough to have a job.