Friday, March 25, 2011

The Little Things –

I cut my legs shaving 4 times today. Either someone sabotaged my razor, or maybe antibiotics make your skin thin?? I don’t know what it is but teeny tiny razor cuts hurt as bad as hangnails and papercuts.
I was screaming and swearing in the bathroom for no one to hear but myself. I was so frustrated. Apparently it is my job to handle all things poop.
I scoop the cat poop, I clean the toilets, I wiped three little butts for a total of nine years. I even once removed someone else’s poop from a toilet because it magically appeared while I was in the bathroom and wouldn’t flush. I didn’t want to be accused of leaving it, so logically I removed it, threw it in the garbage and then took the garbage outside. Poor garbage men……
The straw that broke this camel’s back is when I couldn’t figure out what the white stuff was stuck to the toilet when I got home from work. When I figured out that it was toilet paper that had gotten there when the toilet clogged and over-flowed and was never cleaned up properly, I went a little bat sh*$. (Pun, intended) and used some colorful language appropriate for the bathroom only. Those words sounded nice in an echo-y room and made me feel slightly better.

My daughter has a friend over and for the first time since I was a kid, I have just heard this sentence:

“We’re booooooreddddd, what can we dooooooo?” Now putting my entertainment director uniform on.

(I have some toilets you can clean….)

I found a long hair in my eyebrow this morning AND realized that for the first time ever, I just hired someone who could be my child. Literally. I am old enough to be his mother. I am really disturbed by both of these things. The long hair in my eyebrow and that I am now old enough to be someone’s Mom who is old enough to have a job.

Happy Friday.


Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

LOL - well, even though this post was "un-happy" it did put a smile on my face! I would have gagged before I would have removed that poo from the pot. And, left in a hurry! The poo would have stayed behind. In the clogged toilet.

I do not do well with clogged toilets. In fact, I am gagging just thinking about it.

Oilfield Trash said...

Have a good weekend.

A Cappelli said...

This is a great post- because it sums up what being a mom is about- cleaning someone else's poop out of the toilet. Ok, maybe there is more to being a mom than that. But, there are days (weeks) around here where it feels like that is only thing it is about.

Kelley Simpson said...

Amen! I remember the first time I met an inmate that was born when I graduated High School, I too was traumatized. I also have two chin hairs that I have to pluck monthly. I should say my daughter plucks it because I am too blind to see it. If only I could not feel it I could pretend it didn't exist.
Thank you for making me laugh again and again. I really do feel your pain and think we should go to coffee, maybe we could meet in Las Vegas wink wink!
Hang in there the poop wont last forever.
hugs kelley

Cheeseboy said...

That is a strange feeling. And now I am trying to do the math for me... ugh.

Sorry to hear about your razor. Mine gets all gunked up when I am shaving my legs too.

The Schweitzers said...

I want to ask how you removed that poop, but I'm afraid of the answer. Like looking at a scary movie from between your fingers.

Also, found my first gray hair, only it wasn't gray it was absolutely white.

Kelley said...

I really love that she's wearing a dress while cleaning the closet.

You also made me feel guilty about "borrowing" my husband's razor this morning. He might be yelling out in the next day or so.