Monday, March 14, 2011

Serendipity for Losers

Serendipity denotes the property of making fortunate discoveries while looking for something unrelated, or the occurrence of such a discovery during such a search:

While frantically searching for (with no luck, after realizing TOO LATE that we were out of) toilet paper in the work restroom, I came across a new package of mis-placed legal pads, under the sink.
 (Not recommended for future reference)

Thank goodness I stepped in the cat puke with my bare feet on the way to bed. I not only saved all of the other family members from having this complete grossness happen to them, but I also have squeaky clean floors, well sanitized feet and a whole new love for "indoor shoes".

While doing laundry rather than finding money (that’s just too predictable) I instead discover that my kids really DO like candy and better yet I can pinpoint what kind they like most.
I also have turned my family on to the lovely pastel colors their boring white T-shirts can become and finally, if the washer had not been overloaded it wouldn’t have moved so far from the wall and I would NEVER have found all those stray socks and underwear, not to mention the pound of lint I could make a neat little sweater from.

My kids feel very fortunate to learn the latest swear words from their parents when they were simply asking for the hundredth time what’s for dinner or if they have to take a shower?

After working out consistently for the last week, I am happy to announce that I do have muscles in places I never knew I had.

I have watched shows (meaning WHOLE episodes) with the following titles: Jerseylicious, Toddlers & Tiara’s, My Big Redneck Wedding, and My Super Sweet Sixteen, while waiting for another TV show to start.

I have lost my ability to spell, write in cursive, sense of direction, use of proper punctuation, how much a stamp even costs and patience,  all to the discovery and my fascination with technology.

That’s my Serendipity (and yes, I had to use spell check)


Oilfield Trash said...

At least it was cat puke. A while back I stepped in warm cat shit while I was bare foot.

A Cappelli said...

This is hilarious! I love your take on the serendipity theme. I have often had the serendipitous experience of stepping in cat puke with my bare feet. when bending down to clean up the fresh barf- I am fortunate to find other not so fresh spots which I am able to remove before they become petrified.

The Schweitzers said...

I wear indoor shoes after stepping in dog puke, along with stray grapes, sharp-edged legos, and melted snow.

Doria said...

eww dont you love the squish between your toes when that happens. *barf* Ive lost my ability to write in cursive also, sad. Ughhh working out. I need to do that more.. .Ughhhh.. so lazy!

"Miss Bee" said...

What is it with forgetting how to write in cursive? Sometimes I actually try but it looks ridiculous. I've always hated the way a lower-case cursive "m" looks, so I refuse to use it.

And my poor dad learned to appreciate the pastel colors that resulted from laundry being my chore... there isn't anything quite as funny as seeing your 6'6", 350lb. father in pink sweatpants.

Kate said...

"Not recommended for future reference"...I missed that at first and then it made me lol. there any worse question than "What's for dinner?" Well, maybe "Do you think this is lice?"

Working out...way to go! I'm still sitting very gingerly...stupid bike seat...but wait til I get my race report up from Sunday!! :)

Cheeseboy said...

That is exactly why I do not own a cat. Unless it's warm puke. That might feel nice. I might by a cat.

BTW, I love Florence & the Machine. Saw that in your column there. Good stuff.

I still don't remember z's in cursive. and f's. And I am a teacher.

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