Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Backbends, Skunks and Other Stuff

I read your answers from yesterday’s post. FYI,  It’s Q-Pon and Crans in my world. But really, the right answer for Coupons is: “ who uses those things?”

But if you want to side with the hubby, it’s OK. Everyone I know sides with him all the time anyway. He’s so darn amazing…..

Speaking of the hubby, as I left the house the hubby who never fails to MAKE MY DAY, whispered in my ear romantically, “It’s going to rain in Florida today.”

How sweet is that?? YES, we know people currently vacationing in Florida. I mean them NO HARM or bad karma, however, it was 18 degrees as I left the house, the two feet of snow partially melted in the torrential downpours we had yesterday revealed what is left of our poor destroyed by the ice storm trees. The skunks are out and spraying the house, no amount of rain can keep the cinders and salt off my car, and everywhere I go, I am confronted with flu riddled people and I CANNOT get rid of my cough!
I love winter, but MARCH is not winter. March is not spring (my least favorite season) March is like the hellish in-between and it is one long month.

Backbends – This is an important skill to master. It comes in handy when dealing with Close (as in you have now entered my personal space) Talkers.

Why do close talkers either have bad teeth, bad breath, food in their mouth, or an overabundance of spit? WHY??

I start with the slowly backing away method. When that fails, I slowly start to bend backward. My old gymnastics skills come in handy as I can go back pretty darn far.

I’ve had to use these skills lately. I need to get more limber though. The close talker doesn’t seem to mind talking closely to my belly button.

FYI - The whole skunk pet is no longer funny. Not even a little bit.
This morning as I picked up my son’s two friends to take to school when one of them got in the car and claimed he smelled skunk. Both my son and I are recovering from colds so we figured it was them and shrugged it off. About an hour into work I get a phone call. Our son is begging to be picked up from school because he smells like skunk. While on the phone, I decide to smell my shoes because they were in the garage and sure enough, WE’VE BEEN SKUNKED!
Well our garage must have been,because our cars and shoes all smell like skunk.
What’s that you say about Karma?? I’ll tack skunks on to the maddening month of March now too.

Which brings me to a little story about a man, a topless Jeep , his wife and three kids. This man was having a great day, taking his family on a nice open air road trip. He stopped for gas at a secluded Wal-Mart (yes in the STICKS they put them in the middle of nowhere) while the wife and kids went in to hunt for car sickness relief and snacks. His wife and the 50+ other people in the front of the store began to smell a funny odor. As the man exited the restroom with wet and wrinkled clothing the odor became worse. His then very smart and beautiful wife knew what had happened and pointed him in the direction of new shorts, shirt, underwear and t-shirt as he had been unpleasantly sprayed by a gas pump and there was no way in the place down there he was getting back in the car, top or no top smelling like THAT.
This man was not too happy about his Wal-Mart outfit selection but the road trip was already underway and there was no time for turning back. The sales people wouldn’t even allow him to use a changing room to change his clothes in, the smell was so bad. That particular road trip had an air of stony fumy silence about it for several hours.

Finally, today is my niece’s 17th birthday. She is one of those people in Florida at the moment – I hope the rain clouds are nowhere near her pretty little head. This girl is the sweetest darn thing ever in the world and so beautiful. She hangs out with her younger cousins as though they are her best friends. I remember the first time I met her. I lived three hours away and came into town to meet my oldest brother’s newest addition. They were living in a tiny one bedroom apartment in the upstairs of an old farm house. My sister in law brought this pink rosy baby out to the couch on top of a pillow and I was instantly in love. I knew at that moment I wanted one of those. Two and half years later I got my wish. He wasn’t quite as pink and rosy, but just as amazing. My niece gave me that defining moment. I knew right then I wanted to be a Mom and that’s saying something. I was a career driven twenty year old. A tiny one bedroom apartment never looked so good as it did that day.

Now, the question is should I THANK her or….. (just kidding, I’ll take emergency I’ve been skunked phone calls every day of the week….)


Oilfield Trash said...

I can't wait for winter to be over as well.

The Schweitzers said...

Skunk smell is so intense! How do you get rid of it? SO sick of winter!

Teresa said...

Pei pa koa is pretty decent cough medicine (from herbal as I remembered), great non alcoholic medicine, some western cough medicine are more effective, but this is non drowsy.

You can access info online @