Sunday, December 12, 2010

Nine Times a Lady

Dear True Love – (Your letter 9 of 12)
My favorite Turkish courier service is considering re-organizing his business as an ESCORT service in light of the past two deliveries. This time he HUGGED me when he escorted the ladies to my door.

I CAN PICTURE IT NOW. YOU LIVE ON A BIRD FARM WHERE MEN HAVE ALL OF THEIR FANTASIES COME TRUE don’t you?

Thankfully there is a nice little place in the city where these ladies can work and they tell me they make more money now than you EVER offered.  Did you get to know these ladies by chance? Let me introduce you to them:

I know, there are only 8 pictured here, the ninth was camera shy?

They say they have no idea what your end-goal was by sending them to me. They started to do some dancing, but I stopped them, I mean the neighbors are already talking about me, this is not helping my reputation any.

PLEASE though as fun as it was with the ladies, I can’t take any more big-boobed houseguests. If 10 women show up at my door next, not only will it be slammed in their faces, but I might have to call 9-1-1 on the advances of the “escort” service guys. I was kind of hoping for something to start happening with my little Turkish man, but now, I am just not measuring up.

Were you maybe getting the hint from me by now and my lack of Thank you cards for the 8 other gifts so you wanted me to be jealous? I’m not. No worries there. These ladies seemed all too eager to be rid of you as well.


I'll say it one, I'll say it twice, I'll say it nine times, no longer yours –

-K

5 comments:

Kate said...

Maybe you could get these ladies retrained...let's see...9 ladies...cook, maid, chauffeur, personal shopper, cat wrangler, gardener, bird sanctuary director and two staff members...freeing you to relax, enjoy some family time, and spend the commission from hiring your milkmaids out and the admission fees from the sanctuary. :)

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

can't wait to see the 10th gift letter!

Doria said...

Yup, I love it!

Kate said...

I feel bad that my dirty shoes made you hyperventilate. I hope this picture makes you feel better.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kateg123/5256152840/

If not, have those 9 ladies take care of things around the house and you go have a little lie-down til you're feeling better.

Marla said...

I can’t take any more big-boobed houseguests


I'm with ya!