Dear True Love –
This is your third letter of 12. As I have told you before, these letters are to inform you exactly what I thought of the gifts you sent to me and to help you in your gift giving future.
I am not sure who you thought I was, but WHEN did I ever leave you with the impression that I was into birds?? This third delivery came again via courier service in a cardboard carrier with THREE Hens inside. The delivery guy and I had a good laugh at these Hens, because clearly these Hens are from France. One of them smelled so strongly of perfume with her little boa wrapped around her neck that we about passed out. One Hen was wearing a little beret and carrying a bottle of wine and looking very much like a Hen on a mission.
At the time I was cursing you up and down, thinking there was a Rooster on its way next. But no, just three Hens all the way from France. Why France? Is it because you thought it would make me more amorous towards you? It didn’t.
I am half French, so maybe you thought the Hens would remind me of my heritage? It didn’t. I am a “bird” as they say, but not your bird and I feel closer to my Hungarian heritage especially after receiving gifts like this. Could it be a hint that you wanted me to have a Hen night in hopes of future nuptials? I’ll have a Hen night alright, to be glad that you are out of my life!
Of course, not having the proper facilities for these hens they have joined the three other birds and my neighbors are beginning to talk. I am pretty sure they are close to calling the Gaming Police as it looks like I am stocking up for a good ole fashioned “hunt” over here. The neighborhood stray cats are having a heyday too. Let’s just say there is a lot of squawking going on.
By the way, as I write this letter to you it is snowing, which as you know I absolutely LOVE. If you do not hear from me for a few days it is because I will be building snowmen, drinking hot chocolate, wearing my pj’s and just having a good ole time. I am sure I will have a story or two to tell because even my best laid plans never seem to pan out – AS YOU KNOW….
No longer Your’s –