I'm Happy!! REALLY!

On YAHOO there was an article: 9 signs you are Happy. Backed by science of course.  If I go by this article I am not supposed to be a very happy person. Yet, somehow I manage…. Hmmmmm.


They say I should have been a smiley student and my yearbook picture should show me smiling. I have never been an overly smiley person. I’m not sure why – I tend to smile with my mouth closed and more in my eyes or cheeks. My yearbook picture doesn’t show me smiling – I wanted to be all serious and fondly looking off into space over my right shoulder, with my hand ever so slightly resting on my chin. YEP, got talked into one of THOSE poses. Me and my stylish SWEATER. But I’m HAPPY, don’t think my lack of walking around without a smile pasted on and my yearbook picture has had much affect.  Wonder if this guy is still HAPPY?

I am supposed to have a sister. I don’t. However, I have friends I would like to call sisters. I grew up with two older brothers. They did their best and thankfully married some pretty awesome ladies so it all worked out. I will say that one of my co-workers has like six sisters and gets together with them on a monthly basis for a SISTERS Day and she IS one of the happiest people I know! But still, I am happy despite my lack of female sibling.

I am not supposed to be glued to the TV. YIKES! If I listed all of the shows I currently DVR, it would appear that I am pretty glued to my TV, therefore not a happy person. However, those shows make me happy! But between work, kids, hubby, blogging, cleaning –I guess I am not SUPER glued or anything.

I should keep souvenirs on display.. NOPE. No souvenirs for me. I do decorate with things I love, but I do not have a collection of cocktail napkins and key chains in a shadow box. Remember those?? I did have a shadow box when I was in grade school and I put little glass animals in it. I had some pretty cool turtles, horses and cats. They were pretty popular back in the day – but try dusting those little squares – forget about it! Didn’t pass this one either.

I'm guessing the owner of this is OVERJOYED!

To be happy means I make exercise a priority. Well, if it comes right before the last priority on my list, then I guess I might qualify. What does it mean when I don’t accomplish it though? Or if the last thing on my list is not being attacked by a lion (if you read my blog you know what this means). I would love to make exercise a priority but not sure how I would accomplish the five thousand other things I need to do plus watch TV ;)

I should have a healthy love life – OK, I’ll give you this one.

I should hang out with happy people. REALLY? DUH! First of all, I don’t “hang-out” much these days, but when I am with people I like, they are generally happy – I don’t surround myself with the unhappy ones.

I stay warm with Hot Cocoa???? I just don’t get this one AT ALL. I’ll drink hot cocoa on occasion, but I wouldn’t say it makes me a happy person. It actually said gripping warm things also do the trick. I’ll return you back to the love life section I guess.

I am supposed to have two best friends. I am guessing they mean at least two? Honestly, I hate the term BEST FRIEND- always did. Probably because growing up, I was always the 2nd best friend – it sucked. All my friends are the best. The people who refer to themselves as so and so's BEST friend or, say this is my very best friend, SO and SO, when making introductions just kind of bug me.

That was ODD!

I would say what makes a happy person is someone who has interests outside of work, family and real life. Like reading, painting, travelling, photography whatever it is that takes you out of the stress.

How about people who EAT food because they like the taste and DO indulge from time time. Not saying you have to be fat or unhealthy, but people who avoid eating foods that might not be good for them all the time or only eat certain things to maintain a size zero, might not be so happy.

How about people who listen to music? Have you ever met someone who has no music in their life? Not so happy.

Pets? I am pretty sure people who have pets and love them tend to be happy. I have two cats – not a cat fan, but the kids wanted them so I guess in a way they make me a little happier.

Geez, there all kinds of things that can make people happy – a successful career, winning the lottery, waking up and seeing that your pimple has gone away, getting new followers on your blog… but having a smile in your yearbook photo and displaying your souvenirs?? Where do they come up with this stuff? And why stop at 9?? And what scientists sat around and came up with those NINE??  Not so happy anymore! The Stupidity!

I’m happy and how are you?

Steep Incline

 I was reminded today of something I have a phobia about.  Having to stop my car on a steep hill.  I'm not talking about any hills like in this picture either.  I'd have to stop as soon as I saw a hill like this to go to the bathroom, panic, do some deep breathing, wring out my hands and clothes and then maybe try driving on that hill all while hoping and praying that I didn't hit a light or have to stop for some reason.  I don't even drive stick shift, but something about hills and cars just freaks me out.
When I was a recruiter I had people turn down jobs because they would have to drive on a bridge to get to work.  I thought they were crazy until I was driving on a hill, got stopped in traffic at the steepest point, and proceeded to have a small heart attack. Now I know and completely understand their craziness.

Just sharing a Phobia - What are you afraid of?

Rain and Headless Horseman

I took the day off work to spend with my Mom. We woke up to rain and no sun all day. Mom is also coming down with something horrible - achy, sore throat, fever, chills, so we decided staying in PJ's sounded good.  My Mom brought a game that my Aunt had given her for the computer. One of those games where you search for the picture in a picture. I haven't played a true computer game in so long, so it was at first a novelty, but it soon turned addicting.... It's very appropriate for this time of year - it's a Headless Horseman/Halloween/Spooky theme - perfect for  dreary day like today!

WE PLAYED THIS GAME FOR SIX STRAIGHT HOURS UNTIL WE WON IT.

I wish you could have heard us - it was a timed game so there were moments when our heads were smashed together and practically in the computer screen, frantically searching for objects. 

My eyes are popping out of my head now. I now know that if I was a stay at home Mom I would truly be dangerous. Seriously DANGEROUS!  The kids came home from school and said " YOU ARE STILL PLAYING THAT GAME?  YOU ARE STILL IN YOUR PAJAMAS"?  Yep!

That is one more benefit of working - when you take a day off and you are completely lazy, you don't feel as guilty. (I am still feeling a little guilty though...)

What am I going to do when my parents leave?? I vowed I will NOT EVER buy one of those games! NO WAY!

The Price of Company

Having my parents visit us is priceless, however realizing what we need because my parents (or any company for that matter) is in our home , well, the Things to BUY list is getting a bit lengthy and Pricey:

New Shower Head for Kids Bathroom – Geez, why didn’t the kids ever mention that taking a shower is like standing under a watering can? (NOW I know why soap bubbles come out of them when I give them hugs!)

Rubber Mat for Bottom of Kids Shower – How in the %##@ do they not fall when THEY take a shower in there? (if the next problem didn’t wake my parents up this morning, the sound of my wet body slamming into the shower walls and floor certainly did!)

Plumbing Issues in Kids Bathroom – I have been aware of the noise of singing pipes when the kids shower, however I am usually busy in another room or there is enough background noise to drown it out, but try taking a shower while also trying not to wake the entire house with an opera of the pipes going on.

Relocate the toilet paper holder in Kids Bathroom – Again, there are some nights I lay in bed when all of a sudden what sounds like a Hamster on a wheel coming from the wall will interrupt the peace and quiet and I know exactly what one of the kids is doing, what #, and how many flushes it’s going to take. However, when I am the one on the other side of the paper thin wall trying to slowly unroll the toilet paper from the holder so no one will know what I might be doing, it’s time to relocate where we pull the toilet paper from!

Purchase REAL Plates and Glasses – The last time we set out and used REAL dinner plates was well, I honestly can’t remember? I know I got some from our wedding but life happened, three kids came along and those plates that look like real ceramic but are really plastic came into my life with their seasonal patterns and fun prints and too many years later I suddenly realize that it’s time we stopped eating off of plastic, and drinking from over sized Sippy cups as though we can’t be trusted with the real stuff. I mean I have recently graduated from the kids table at family gatherings so I should be able to handle a little glass and pottery in my life!

Buy a Couch/Add more seating – We have had the same small couch and one reclining chair for too long. Not to mention, it’s not so much fun sitting on the floor anymore pretending that it’s how you sit even when there is no company over. As you know, we’ve been “looking” but it’s time to start “buying”.

New Rotors for the Car – Don’t ask me what those are exactly, but when you’re Dad wonders what the noise is coming from near the back tires, well further investigation proves there are issues. (My hubby is in the garage as we speak)

New Shoes – Heck a whole New Wardrobe! – My Mom is the World’s Best Shopper with the BEST Shoes and clothes EVER – every time she comes to visit I want to slowly sneak things from her suitcase into my closet. She brings more clothes with her than I own, and sometimes will catch me drooling over her shoes and take pity on my by leaving me the one pair she can part with, but I would like to be able make her drool!

New Oven – Is it enough to just say that ours has been having issues for a month or two, or three and when we HAVE to use it, we put it on clean mode and pull the food out right before it burns?

New Dryer – We usually turn the dryer on and then run from the area for the sounds that our dryer makes. There are even some occasions when I have been on the phone, and people ask me what kind of construction I have going on at home? My Mom was worried that we had accidentally let the cat in it the first time and the second time asked if we checked the kid’s pockets for large rocks.

Bigger TV – We have a nice TV, but it ain’t no wide screen or flat screen or one mounted on the wall. This is why we scheduled to be at my brother’s house 1pm on Sunday.

TV for the bedroom – It would be nice for our company to not have to stare up at the ceiling counting sheep in order to fall asleep. With the hubby and I, well we usually fall into the bed in a comatose state from pure exhaustion so there is no need for a TV (I could have lied here and said that our pre-bed time rituals are so amazing and frequent that we never would need a TV, but I won’t!)

Making a Things to Buy List – How are You?

Snipets

Saturday - Mom and Dad arrived at 10:30am - I had been up since 6am, everything was ready, the house was spotless, we were looking good!  I have soon discovered that my house looks good right after it is thoroughly and meticulously cleaned. Once everyone arrives, well, it's all downhill.  I have been running from room to room and area to area picking up and cleaning, sneaking in a load of laundry here (we never have enough "good" towels) and wiping down surfaces there.  We sat around and chatted, then played Phase 10 (cut-throat style , with lots of bickering and threats) and I WON! (No one gave me a trophy or anything though)  Then everyone threw on as many layers of clothing that we could think of (it has gone from 91 degrees to 46 degrees at night in one day- plus the 'rents reside in Florida, therefore the blood has thinned) and off to the races were we.  It was defiantly mayhem and extremely fun.  The last night of racing drew a huge crowd and we sat from 6pm to 10:30pm with half of the county.  We ate deep fried hot dogs (a first) and french fries thanks to the guys who waited in line for over an hour to fetch us dinner. The hubby insisted on sneaking to the car in the middle of the festivities to turn it TOWARDS the exit for a speedier escape- (only a MAN) and in order to do this, climbed monkey-style down the back of the bleachers because we were packed in like sardines.  (I'll post pictures soon- but figure eight camper pull - well, just picture a category 5 tornado having just ripped through a used car lot and trailer park at the same time and that pretty much sums it up)
The hubby made us his famous strawberry crepes for breakfast (what a guy!) but what is with getting up at 6:45am on a Sunday after a night like last night?? I'M EXHAUSTED!  The hubby and I slept in the bottom bunk of the girl's bed WITH one of them and my parents got our room - I fell asleep worrying that they were upset that we don't have a TV in the room, that the bed was not comfortable enough, and how on earth will my room ever look the same?? ( My Mom has been on the road since before Labor Day therefore she has about 10 suitcases and bags and it looks like a clothing boutique is soon opening in there.

Today is at my brother's for Football and Spaghetti, lots of family gossiping, a little wine and beer for some, sneaking out to the barn for others and finally my water tank can catch back up seven showers and several loads of laundry later.  ZOILA where are you when I need you??? 

The best part so far: Realizing that there IS a new-found benefit of having your parents living 24 hours away:  When they visit - it is so much sweeter and fun!

PS- I have only had to take the kids to the side a FEW times to threaten them in my "quietly screaming voice"......
Having a great visit with the parents - and YOU?

Holey Shirts, and Figure Eight Mayhem

I am hoping somewhere out there someone will understand this post. I purchase a lot of my clothes from Target. I know, I just blew my whole image with that statement didn’t I? I bet you thought I was sitting around in my Versace (gosh, couldn’t even THINK of a designer to put here besides Vera Wang and that is only because it’s a name not easily forgotten) and my Louie Batons (I KNOW I spelled it incorrectly, but you know EXACTLY what I mean and A. you are a fashionista and now seriously dislike me or B. you don’t care anymore than I do. If it looks good –wear it. Just not gonna pay a car payment for shoes UNTIL they move me physically from point A to B.


ANYWAY – regardless of my Target wear I somehow manage to look OK, my kids haven’t seemed embarrassed of me lately and I still get compliments from time to time and yes, I do have some nice things in the closet (have you seen the post about my Coach shoes? (ok, done justifying –I bet there are more Target shoppers than otherwise here)

Here is my point: EVERY shirt I get from Target ends up with a small hole in the center front about an inch from the bottom. I’m not crazy because I just discovered this happens to my sister-in-law as well. Same size hole, same area, and ONLY the shirts from Target. I have ruled out every possible scenario EXCEPT the one my husband presented to me. No, it’s not moths, it’s not my belt (I usually never wear a belt) it’s not my belly button (too low and mine is an inny) It’s not my pants ( I don’t pull off studs so well) I don’t have claws for hands or nails, so I’m thinking my husband’s theory might be right on. They design the shirts this way, so we have to keep on buying more of them. It is a mystery I want solved and am curious if it is happening to anyone else?

On another note as luck would have it, the power went out at work and wouldn’t you know, I HAD to leave early. YEAH ME two extra hours of cleaning on my final night to make the house look spectacular for my parents who are in town from Florida for a week. And even better, tomorrow night is my favorite red-neck night of the year. Figure Eight Camper Pull! There is nothing like sitting in the stands and watching grown men in beat up cars pulling anything they can include old campers to kid’s play houses and crashing and smashing into each other. The sheer insanity of the whole night is just so out of the ordinary that it’s pure fun. My poor Mom- not only is the forecast due to go from 91 degrees out right now to 46 degrees tomorrow night, her body will not know what to do with itself, and then to be drug to the crazy figure eight mayhem. But it’s just so fun …..

Looking forward to a nice weekend and How Are You?

Critters of All Sorts

I had a snake in my house! Granted, it was tiny and right by the front door, so it most likely came in with the kids thinking it was going to get a little after school snack, but STILL! A SNAKE IN MY HOUSE! My mind was doing that “ignoring what my eyes are seeing” thing, so at first I thought it was a shoelace, and then I’m like a shoelace? That would be about as rare on my floor as a snake, and then when I saw the “shoe lace” slightly un-coil, I thought – WOW that is one hell of a worm and what a weird color! Then LIGHT BULB – That there is a SNAKE! (THERE’S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!! – had to insert that)


REALLY? Sheesh – what is next?? Have you read my blog? I live in a small town in the country but I am not in the BACK WOODS and yes, we live in a log home, but again we are NOT in the WILDERNESS and so far since we have moved in, we have had:

Normally heard pecking on the house at ungodly hours

Baby Buck

Groundhog Family

Wild Turkey (looked like a family of miniature dinosaurs running around and I kid you not, this was ON Thanksgiving morning!) Rabbits ( I know we all have them but I’m talking, you drive up the driveway and hundreds of them are bouncing all over the yard like they had a huge party while we were gone) a whole family of Groundhogs with babies living under our deck for at least six months now, skunk, (I know because occasionally the smell will waft in and we scramble to close up all the windows) raccoons (right up on the deck, eating the birdseed and also in early spring Mom likes to bring her babies for their annual bath in the melting snow in our yard) a rare game hen –( YES, we called the forestry division because we weren’t sure what it was – lived in our garage for a month in the winter) a baby deer,(yep, we all worried we had a Bambi on our hands) a baby BUCK (who now is a teenager and likes to stand in the road puffing out his chest, taunting me -see my previous post about my phobia of Deer), stray cats (the hubby has actually buried one particular one in our yard and sang Elton John’s version of Goodbye Barbara Jean but said Goodbye Baby Kitten instead to taunt me because I’m not a fan of cats) stray dogs, multitudes of birds, giant woodpeckers, hummingbirds, frogs (Yeah, I know who doesn’t right – but so many that you can practically hear them crunching under the tires??) possum, a muskrat, a COYOTE (yep – had to call the sheriff for that one) and now snakes.

I am writing this here and now, I’ve said it before, but I am SURE that next, I will look out the window above my sink and will see a bear. They have been known to be in this area on rare occasions, but if someone is going to see one, it’ll be us. (Now, lions – probably not. Although I still have the re-accurring dream that Lions are sitting outside my door)

Loving Life in the Critter Cabin – How are YOU?

Buttons Resolved!

I've been a little crabby for a couple of days about a blog post that made me feel all defensive because I am a Mom and I work, and that I am taking part in "defeminizing America".  It pushed my buttons but on the way home from work, as I thought of the following things I realized I need to point out some benefits I have over the "feminine stay at home Mom's" (as the author put it - see I am a Mom who happens to work/have a career outside of the home,  and my friends that do not work are Moms. Period. NO LABELS NEEDED or ACRONYMS or 3- letter car de-cals and stick figures for that matter.)

Things I can do that even my best friend and sister-in-law who happens to be a Mom at home, agrees with:

1. I GET a shower before 7:30am with hot water, un-interrupted.

2. I wear real clothes every day.  Sometimes trendy ones and HEELS! and MAKEUP! (and you say I'm not feminine?)

3.  When I come home, three kids run to the door and greet me like I am the best thing they have seen all day.

4.  When I am talking to a colleague who finds out I have three kids, they act like I am superwoman rather than take it for granted. Makes me feel awesome every single time.

5.  Every single piece of amazing artwork comes with me to work.(and it's up to me whether it gets displayed or not)

6.  I have the best excuse to NOT be able to: carpool, volunteer, lead, coach, emergency babysit and/or bake.....

7.  I can give my kids chores and they do them because they want to help me out.

8.  If I do not make a warm 3-course meal every night, no one complains.

9.  No one asks me what I did all day in an accusatory tone.

10.  When we run out of something needed from the store, I get asked to pick it up, not whined or yelled at that I forgot to buy it.

11. I get PAID to stay home sick, stay home with a sick child, take vacation and maternity leave. (I also on a rare,VERY RARE occasion get to even take a day off because one of the kids are sick -wink, wink.)

12. My vacations and days OFF are truly vacations and days off, and my Saturdays and Sundays feel like special days of the week. Heck, I always know what the date is and what day of the week it is.

13.  My office is as clean as I want it to be, no one is messing it up AND I can put out any knick knacks I want without fear of it breaking, or being used as a play toy. (well some of my co-workers like to touch stuff too much, but I can slap them....)

14.  I get to socialize and go out to lunch without the guilt.

15.  WAIT - I get to EAT lunch! All ALONE if I want to...

16.  If I need new clothes, I say - "Hon, I have to buy a new skirt for work." or, "That's my new briefcase, not a bag, silly." or "Yeah, he was towering over me so I had to buy some heels that were a little higher...."

17.  I don't have to listen to or accidentally catch myself watching kid shows for hours on end.

18. My coffee is always HOT when I drink it.

19. On rare occasions I get to go out of town all by myself and no one thinks I'm being selfish.

19. I'll get to retire some day and stay at home with my grandchildren so my kids can have a career and it will be the most fun I have ever had.

Don't get me wrong, by reading the above then I must know and understand how much a woman who is also a Mom that happens to stay home during the day with her kids, gets the short end of the stick. Let's just remember that every situation is unique to every person.

Endangered and Expressive LED's

When I am driving and just thinking (I CAN do both!)  mostly about what the heck I am going to blog about, I play this little game called Endangered Species. I like to list the things that are slowly going away and by the time our kids are adults they won't even know what these things are.  I wonder if my parents or grandparents thought like this?  New to the Endangered Species list today is:

Bank Tellers - I have not set foot into a bank in over five years. My husband has gone once to get my son a bank account.  The last time I went was to deposit money into the school PTO account when I was Treasurer.  Other than that, I NEVER go inside the bank.  Do you? If so, why? What am I missing out on? Is that where you get the seeds for the money tree everyone else seems to have in their backyard?

Perms -
I saw the last one I may see in awhile, recently.  I haven't seen or heard of anyone getting one in so long! I used to get them too.

CD's -
I almost made the mistake of referring to music in the form of a CD- I am afraid to refer to music at all for fear I am saying the wrong term.

Road Maps -
We did buy one this year after the GPS REFUSED to take us an alternate route when the highway was stopped dead for miles.  I have a feeling we will never look at it again.  The kids were fascinated by it. Actually it's a great conversation piece for any guests in my car or long boring car rides.

Do you have any for the list?

Finally,  because I really need to get back to stressing and cleaning my house - while I was thinking and driving, I remembered one of the inventions I have not gotten around to starting.  The back of the car LED scrolling screen and the one for the front that the person in front of you can read from their rear view mirror.  The things I could load into it to say.....
So much better than a bumper sticker and you can change it!
HEY LOSER, I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU VACATION, STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE ON ONE AND STEP ON IT!!
or
WARNING- I WILL SLAM ON MY BREAKS WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.
or
ARE YOU WAVING AT ME?? OH, HI!!!
oh, the fun!!

Happy Tuesday! How are You?

Four more days and counting......

Just got done checking out all of the blogs I follow - (FYI, I read your every post! ) and Darn it, but my buttons got pushed. I hate when that happens!! Little lights and alarms are going off everywhere on me right now.  My feet were already STILL sore, my right contact is foggy creating a slowly progressing headache, my nose is stuffy and now, my buttons are pushed and stuck.  This poor blog post didn't KNOW that my parents are coming into town in four short days and I have to clean my house every day after work and then all over again right before they get here and then right after they leave! This poor blog post didn't know that today was a busy day at work and when I got home from work I had to create my student council  " vote for me for treasurer slogan"!  so it's not the blog post's fault OR the author - I quite like the author, I'm just a little sensitive I guess.  If you would like to check out what set me off: http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/2010/09/refeminization-of-america.html
and then, can you tell me just how to get these buttons un-stuck??

We do not buy a lot of everyday things that most people must buy.  We do buy lots of things as soon as we know company is coming though.  You would think I would have wizened up by now.
LIGHT BULB MOMENT!
 I should invite more people to stay with us, and we will purchase more things!! 

For example: Mattress pad cover - first of all, what is the purpose?? Neither my hubby or I wet the bed (anymore) and we kicked the kids out of our bed a long time ago, so just what is the purpose?  Well last night I found out.  A NEW mattress pad/cover stretchy thing that never seemed to fit until we bought a new one- well, it's to make you feel like the Princess from the Princess and the Pea.  But hey, we got a new one just for Mom and Dad.  Meanwhile the hubby and I are gearing up for our five nights stay in the girls bedroom.  It will be like a camp out! The girls will share the top bunk and the hubby and I will sleep together on the bottom! Can't wait!  We have also bought a new hamper. (I can hear you when you think those things about me!) The hamper had some fake wood bits missing, and the new one is much smaller so I will keep up with the laundry! YEAH FOR ME because I LOVE laundry - especially the whites load!
Next on the list: New sheets- I wonder if my parents will mind flannel snowflake sheets???

I have made the following statements to my kids in light of the visitors:

These five towels are not to be touched!  Use the ones with the holes in them that do not match, and when you dry your back they start to rip - those are YOUR towels, these five towels are NOT your towels.

To my teen: If I pay you $50, will you pretend that you like me and smile the whole time Nannie and Grandpa are here?

Do not touch ANYTHING, if you do, you will not do just about anything you like for the next ten years.

If you HAVE to use the toilet, please let me know so I can clean it when you are done.

Do you HAVE to use the eraser?? Can't you just cross it out??

Did you notice that I organized the medicine cabinet, the refrigerator, under the bed, the linen closet, my shoes, the garage, the silverware drawer, the bin the basement where we keep all the pictures JUST IN CASE someone looks in there???

My poor kids and my poor parents! It's NOT them, it's me. I am like this no matter who you are that is coming to my house.  I have no idea what it is, but everything has to be perfect - I am admittedly crazy and you know what? I have a blast the whole time they are here and I don't think they really care how every nook and cranny looks, but I have been presenting my house perfectly for so long, I couldn't possibly stop now......
Just a little uptight today and how are YOU!?

Sore and Getting Ready

My feet are so sore!! I even wore my good tennis shoes.  But walking and standing from 12 to 12 with no real breaks, well, I guess it's harder than it used to be.  While waiting for just a little over 40 minutes in one line, we agreed that they should invent either chairs that come out of your jacket- like a pouch in the back just for when you need a quick seat, OR the line should just be moving chairs.  How lazy is that of us?? 
I couldnt believe the amount of people with broken legs or feet in the park - and my feet and legs were sore? How were they doing it?  One lady had a scooter with a seat that she rested her broken leg on, and then used the other foot to push the scooter! That kind of made me feel bad for complaining. 

Needless to say, today I have to clean my whole house, I have no desire to do it but it needs done.  My parents are coming into town and will be staying with us but they do not know if it is this week or next week when they will be here (long story- I won't bore you with the logistics) So, as you know I am a total clean/organizational/everything must be in it's place freak thanks mostly to my Dad, and now I have to get my aching and sore body moving. (I could also be sore from all the roller coasters thrasing me around)

What I wouldn't give for an extra day this weekend.

I'm sore, happy and have a long to-do list- how are you?

The Plan

The plan is to have a little fun today.  I am SURE I will have stories.  Now, where are our color coordinated outfits ??? (NOT!)

Nipply Office and Attack of the Bra

Random Thursday for me:

I got to see some more vacation letter de-cals on the way to work which made me so happy!


My daughter who is new to the contraptions of women got STUCK in her contraption and the way I found out was by my husband calling to say that we need to get less complicated contraptions for the little one because she got stuck and now has a sore neck and is sick with embarrassment.

A male co-worker made the statement to me today that it was so cold on his side of the office that his nipples were hard and it's beginning to hurt.

Hours and one Dr. appointment later (for the neck which got worse) we find out, it's not a sore neck from the faulty and complicated female contraption, it is swollen lymph nodes from a virus! WHOOPS


It was dark and dreary all day, with no light. The drive home was more of a sail home and dodging of lightening. I LOVE it! This is MY kind of weather. I am a severe weather lover. SNOW by the feet, not inches will make me happy for days. Rain, lightening and thunder during the day excites me.  REALLY!

After work I got to spend an hour and a half on my 8th grade history homework which consisted of a complicated cross word puzzle revolving around the Early Explorers. Thank You, Google  I'm expecting an A!

After an hour of coaxing a child to swallow the medicine already, I am so looking forward to doing it all over again tomorrow and the next day and the next day, that I can barely stand it and a wondering if I need to be going out of town for some reason?

and that's my Thursday, How are You?

3 Letters & Stick Figures Make Me Angry

I CANNOT stand seeing OBX stickers on the back of someone's SUV or Mom-Van.  It just gets right under my skin!
I'll  preface this by saying:
1.  I do drive a van- I get why we have to drive them.  My Honda Odyssey has been known to take on Mustangs at stop lights and make them eat my dust. I will gladly give the van up once my oldest child gets his license.

2. I am sure that the OBX is a great place to vacation. I have never been. I HAVE been to PI, HH, PIB, KI, VB, MB, PCB, SF,WDW and many more. I used to want to go to the OBX- USED to being the key words, but now based on who vacations there - I think I'll pass.  I just don't advertise my vacation call letters and I don't want to see someone else's. 

3. I MIGHT be a little bitter because most of my vacation days are for when the kids do not have school, when someone is sick, can't use them because work is too busy or can't afford to go anywhere. So if you do sport vacation letters, I'm just a crabby jerk today.

4. My sticker of choice would say WFC. Because I REALLY do not care.....

4. I like my family. (see next rant)

Mom and Dad need helmets too- they are klutzy, I guess.

With that said, I can't stand stick figure families on the back of an SUV or Dad-Van ( not only Mom's get stuck driving them)  They make me crazy. Especially the ones that are wearing Mickey ears, or ones with halo's over their head because then I feel like even more of a jerk. 

Today I saw 10 vacation decals and 6 stick families.  Mark my words, if they do not already have them, soon they will have round figure families to be more correct.

I'm not likin' it, How are you?

Not Generic

I will never buy Generic pop - NEVER, sorry......

Remember one day, probably in the 80's walking into the grocery store and suddenly there was an aisle where all the products were in black and white and GENERIC was the new trend?  Well, now Generic isn't in black and white anymore and it's hard to tell the difference between name brand and not so much. 
It's funny, but I have no problem buying things from Target and Walmart (a fairly generic form of department store merchandise) yet, when it comes to groceries, I can be a bit of  a snob. If I were really wealthy, I would be dangerous! I fall for the name brands and packaging like all ad execs would hope - as a matter of fact I'm pretty sure I'm their poster child.  I don't care what they say about there not being a difference in the real product vs. the Generic one ( that statement alone makes me want the REAL choice no matter what the price) I am pretty sure this is why my husband chooses to go to the grocery store every day (he works right next door to one) rather than send me. (It really works ladies!) However, this is also why we never run out of Ketchup and Toilet paper because men are known for buying those items in bulk and forget about any kind of variety.  Although my husband does do one thing for me which reminds me how very lucky I am - he buys me decorative paper towels! (That's better than flowers in my book!)
There is a recent report of things that you should always buy Generic by Stacy Johnson and MoneyTalks via Yahoo (got the bases covered there) so let's take a look and see if I can be reformed:

1.  Pain relievers and over the counter meds - Not gonna do it.  I am sure there is no real difference but since I rarely buy this kind of item, when I do, (whose the mouse in my pocket??) when HE does, we go with name brand.  However, when the Dr. prescribes us medication, we are begging for the Generic brand.  Now that is a little mixed up......

2.  Water.  With no husband or kids around, I would live on Fiji water. Sorry, it really does taste better!!! Actually I really like our tap water too, but we do buy lots of bottles of water and everyone has their preference - I am pretty sure we go with lowest price here though. So this one is OK.

3.  Milk.  I didn't really know there was anything but Generic milk?  I know there are Soy's and Silk's and stuff like that, but yes, the store brand is fine with me. However, when it comes to milk, I can only drink it at my own home. Never at someone else's and never at a restaurant! Don't ask me why - something about the temperature having to be just right and I'm really anxious about expiration dates.

4.  Margarine.  I am not a big butter/margarine connoisseur - I could never tell you the difference, therefore I could see the Generic benefits - but I'd still probably grab the tub of Country Crock anyway.

5.  Bleach - It's like Kleenex and Q-tips - as long as you call it Clorox, I'd buy it no matter what the label said I'm sure.

6.  Spices.  I go with size of container.  I like my spices to be in a neat row with matching lids and sizes and labels facing out. So I guess I'd have to do an overhaul there in order to go Generic.  But then again, some of those containers look exactly the same now as they did when I was a kid and it's fun to by them just because Mom had the same ones in her cupboard.

7.  Cleaning Products.  I like the ones that speak to me and tell me what a wonderful person  I am while cleaning the toilet.  I like to know that little scrubbing bubbles are moving around in the tub well after I have left the bathroom, and I really like when the cleaning products do all the work and all I have to do is pick them off the shelf.  I am pretty sure Generic ones just make you do the work without every saying Thanks, or "Next time, I'll scrub the floors you YOU just lift your feet up". I get enough of that already.

So there you have it - I'm a name brand grocery products snob - How are you?

Glad it wasn't me!

My Brother's house was TP'd Saturday night. He was told to lighten up because it’s "a right of passage."  I left his house thinking, “Crap- if my kids do not have someone TP the house, does that mean my hubby and I are going to have to sneak out in the middle of the night and TP our own house so they don’t feel left out?” Believe me, if this is the case this is something we would do too! Not only that, but the TP'ing of the house is not always as innocent as it seems – I have a funny story about this:


As you know, I dated my hubby in high school. When we were 16/17 yrs old, we went on a double date with two people who were a little more wild/adventurous in their dates than we were. They thought it would be fun to play a prank on someone. (Yes, it was all them planning it, and me and my mate just sat there letting them twist our arms. RIGHT) Our first stop was the local convenient store for rolls of toilet paper.( Do you know they won’t even sell this to teens at night anymore?) Then, we decided that going to the driving range after dark and picking up all of the stray golf balls to put into people’s lockers so they would pour out of them when opened, was a much better idea.
So the guys jumped out on a side street and told us girls to drive around until we saw them again to pick them up. I couldn’t drive stick, so I’m now just a passenger to this grand plan. Of course about 5 minutes after them leaving the car we get pulled over. When asked what we were doing, my friend said “just driving around”, but of course the cops being smarter than us asked who we had just dropped off?  Denials ensued.
At this point we were asked to step out of the car, they searched our purses, and then asked to look into the trunk. In the trunk they found our newly purchased toilet paper rolls – which we bought at our Mom’s request- of course! And a baseball bat. In our defense,  this was not our car and neither of us knew why there would be a baseball bat besides the obvious reason,which didn’t fly with the cops, thanks to some freshly hit mailboxes that WE HAD NO PART IN. Now they separate us girls and make us tell them who we dropped off and I give up their names because I had never been in any kind of trouble before and if you have read the posts about my Dad – I wasn’t planning on sitting in jail til I rotted away. (and to this day I have never lived down the fact that I gave not only their real first names but included their last names too)
We are then handcuffed (NO JOKE) and thrown into the back of the car and are driven around for several hours while the cops are megaphoning the two boys by NAME, around the neighborhoods using their spot light.  
At one point they get another call about a man who has "escaped" (remember we are in a very rural area, so this was probably not a hard thing to do) the drunk/drug tank, and could they pick him up?  Well our car attempted to do just that until my friend and I wizened up about how far these cops should really be going at this point and blocked the door with our feet so they could not add this lovely smelling, barely able to walk fugitive to our party.  We then proceeded to the Sheriffs station. (When you live in a remote area, you do not get taken to the local police department, the Sheriff has to get involved.) We arrive to the station and now I am kissing some major butt, so after giving my statement I tell the officer about my interest in law enforcement ( OH yeah, I knew at an early age how to lay it on thick) and can I get a tour, pretty please? – They comply. Meanwhile, my friend is NOT cooperating as well. She is followed into the bathroom and a woman officer watches her pee.
By 2am, the cops call our parents and again as you know, my parents were off on their boat assuming I'm home at curfew being a good girl, while my oldest brother, thankfully sober says he is on his way to get me.  These cops never did realize he was my brother and not my Dad and I am sure at this point they are a little worried they may have stretched their authority with us, so they send us off with a "You have a nice young lady speech" (if you are picturing Barney Fife or Dukes of Hazzard you are not far off)  As I leave the station, our boyfriends are in the back of another car, covered in mud and giving me the evil eye. (Something about running through the woods, one talking the other out of stealing a horse as a get-a-way and finally too tired to run any more so they surrendered)
Of course we all made up, but the next day, my then-boyfriend decided to come clean to my parents just in case we got a letter in the mail (The officers said there would be a small chance we would have to appear in juvenile court) We did this as my Dad was taking us on a ride on the boat in the middle of Lake Erie (this is when I knew my future hubby had NO FEAR) We played it off as a funny, ha, ha -"right of passage" joke. (Never told my Dad what the cops really did to my friend and I for fear it would land my Dad in prison forever, had he known) Several months went by and sure enough that letter came in the mail, and my Mom and I snuck to the courthouse where I got nothing by apologies- after I mentioned the handcuffing of a juvenile and our back of the car joyride for scare tactics adventure. (See, I did do my homework- with the thought of LAWYER not Law Enforcement on my mind)
So, when the kids say, it's nothing - just some innocent TP'ing- you might want to check out their story after all.
PS- The cops did want to know just what the guys were doing with the 50+ golf balls shoved in their pants....

Random Saturday

Bicycle Helmets. I have never understood the concept of helmets for bicycle riders. They look goofy and unnecessary unless riding down a steep cliff or you have had a previous head injury. More men on bicycles wear helmets than they do on motorcycles. I guess there is a big difference between those two kind of men though too. We drove past a guy on a level and paved bike path and I had to chuckle as a guy on a Harley in a T-shirt, steering with one hand and no helmet in sight, drove by on the other side.

Men with sweaters tied around their necks – or any person who does this for that matter. I don’t get it? Are their shoulders cold? This is what I thought when a man sporting a lovely cream sweater around the shoulders cut us off in the parking lot and starting mouthing profanity through his tightly closed window. My husband gave him two fingers up which shocked the little cream sweater right off his shoulders.

We were bored, so we went to the furniture store. Occasionally we find it fun to torture ourselves doing something that makes us feel like spending money when we are can’t or shouldn’t. We do need a new couch so with that in mind we entered the mammoth three story structure full of fake deals and pricey tags. When we entered the store we realized we were one of maybe five other people in the store (OSU game had just started and I thank my lucky stars my hubby isn’t a football watcher) So all the salesmen and one or two sales woman were sitting on the furniture right at the front of the store watching the doors like rabid dogs. But we could see there was a protocol and the guy whose turn it was greeted us warmly. I really did like him – he wasn’t pushy and at one point he made me actually curl up on the couch to make sure it was the "one" - Made me take my shoes off and everything.  Then of course my husband thought it would be a good idea to demonstrate how my daughter lays on top of me so we looked like complete freaks.   Bob, the salesmen didn’t even mind that our girls were bouncing their bodies off every piece of furniture as though they were ping pong balls. We found two couches we liked and we are doing something we NEVER usually do – thinking about it overnight. On the one hand we really need a couch, but on the other hand I would love to have the money for so many other things and unfortunately I hate to even think this, Christmas is not that far away. Problem Solved! In the time it took me to type this, my husband decided we should just wait and spend the money some other way (he is selling his first house of the year this coming weekend- what a horrible market!) As we left the store and left a hopeful Bob the salesman in the doorway, we felt sad. We agreed that every single one of those people who work on straight commission, were previous desk jockeys somewhere not too long ago. You could tell by their clothes and the desperation in their eyes.  I think it might be better than working on a car lot though....
How was your weekend?

Frank Sinatra and Flamingo's

Last night was one of those nights you just want to stick in the bowl of memories.  You know how Harry Potter does that in the movie with the Pensieve?  Sticks his face in the bowl and can watch the memory of something happening? 
After a long week of work (in a four day week - love when that happens) it was nice tojust let the night happen and it's so nice when everything just clicks.  No arguing, No catastrophe's No hurt feelings.....

First - My husband was like a kid in a candy store (I'm sorry that is an odd expresson  - b/c have you been to many candy stores recently? and if you have the kids are usually crying and begging and pleading and the parents are just being sticks in the mud saying NO)  in THIS candy store he was excited and smiling and no one was telling him NO-  When we dropped our son off at his friend's house, the Dad had just been given about 100 brand new shirts (most with tags) by a wealthy relative whose"stylist" cleaned out his closet , so he dropped them off to be given away.  Lucky timing on our part, he walked away with 50 new shirts that were probably a good $50-$150 a piece!  Nothing like putting a man in a good mood right off the bat - Shopping out of a garage, next to a vintage truck, from a make shift rack and scoring 50 new shirts that should keep him from having to shop for about five more years.(and me too as I HATE clothes shopping!)

We went into our favorite town for dinner and got a table immediatley at the best Italian restaurant in town. (Thank you to Friday night football sucking up the normal diners)  Even though we had a table next to us of 3 screaming little girls (not cute screaming, we are talking two year old temper tantrum devil-child screaming) for some reason, we both just looked at each other and then at our two daughters  who were with us and laughed because we have been there, done that (although one of us always left the restaurant and sat in the car with the screaming kid)  we were just so glad to know that those times were officially over for us and THANK GOD!  The spoon being slammed onto the wood table top right behind me got slightly annoying, but again, I wasn't letting it bother me or spoil my night.
This Italian restuarant is very authentic, dark, candle lit, amazing food in large portions,  with Frank Sinatra playing in the background.

After dinner we walked through town and looked into the shop windows with cups of Hot Chocolate and cider. 
My middle child, for some reason when she was about 2 or 3 became fascinated with Flamingo's.  And you know how as soon as someone likes something a little out of the ordinary, you start to notice it more or see it in the oddest places?  Well this happens to us a lot.  Now 7 or 8 years later, we see Flamingo's in the strangest places (NO, not REAL ones ) you know like on someone's pants at a party, or in the background of a movie, or on the set of Big Brother, and on all kinds of strange places.  This is something she will never live down but it's just funny and ironc when we spot one.  We spotted the first one on the label of one of the shirts my husband didn't take (for that very reason- he is the guy who has a concealed carry permit and uses it because it's his right vs. wearing a shirt with a Flamingo on it) and we spotted the second Flamingo in the window of  a high-end home furnishing store. The way they had it displayed, you would never have known it was there unless you were looking for it, knew it was there or you have become an expert Flamingo spotter over the years.  Our daughter took a full twenty minutes to even see it.  It was just one of those funny things that happens that makes you think.
On the drive home we listened to the Seriously Sinatra channel (how could life ever be wrong when listening to Frank?) and looked into the windows of the houses in town all lit up.

Not in MY Pond!

There is a lot of controversy over this photo of a fish a man caught in France– whether this picture is fake or real? I thought I’d throw in my two cents or thoughts:


About 6 years ago, our AMAZING babysitter took the kids to the local pet store and bought them fish. We slowly moved those fish into a 32 gallon tank because they just wouldn’t die no matter what we did.
There were three goldfish (not you’re run of the mill goldfish though, the fancy fatter ones, which EXPERTS like to call KOI because it sounds so much better and elite.) They were of various colors but not overly big in size, and two sucker fish that the kids called Baby Whales (they do really look like miniature whales –Hmmmm…. I might have to capitalize on that, people like anything with the word miniature in front of it…) Anyway – I am not kidding when I tell you that those Goldfish grew to a size that I could not believe and anyone who saw them said there was no way they were not carp. I would say by the time they moved on to a "bigger pond"  (less than a year ago – whoever heard of that kind of lifespan for a GOLDFISH??) they were the size of my husband’s entire hand (and he DOES have big hands if you know what I mean…)
We still have one of the two baby whale’s and it is about 10” long now and pretty fat- he prefers the term “husky”, because it sounds so much better. These fish were definitely not flushable. As a matter of fact (that makes me sound like an old lady) We ended up having to scoop the fish out when they started to swim sideways and dis-color, and took them to a pond where we said they would either die happy or grow even bigger. (I actually pictured them to look as big as this one in the picture!) So, I’m not saying this is a real picture, but I find it somewhat believable considering my experience. I’m no “gold” thumb either – as a matter of fact I’m ALL thumbs when it comes to pets and/or nature of any kind, so it’s not like we were taking such amazing care of these fish that made them grow. I’m kind of wondering if their overall plan was to get so big that they would out-grow the tank and require to be taken to the pond way before it occurred to them to just swim sideways for a few days and shed some scales before we took the hint.

On another note – this is where I become a dis-believer: The size and sheer amount of poop that came out of the fish in my tank at their size was mind-blowing and well, absolutely disgusting. Let alone what must be coming out of the fish pictured?!! The poop would be wrapped around this guy’s legs like a rope cutting off his circulation. Our fish were never without a long stream of what looked like an earthworm hanging from them. It got to the point where we were making up stories of what it really was to the kids, who had they known what it really was, would NEVER have gone poop again! And where there is one of this size fish, there are bound to be others, so this pond he is fishing in is filled with ropes of poop!

What exactly is this size fish eating? Dog food, ground beef, small children?? Because little flakes from a can are in no way going to keep him satisfied. If I ran into a fish this size in my pond, I can’t even imagine what I would do- this is why I purposely do not swim in ponds, (for fear of giant Goldfish and other creatures) but I have to imagine given its bright color, you would see it from time to time from land, and that alone would freak me out. (Like they have hidden legs that will carry them out of the pond one day and run me down) I wonder what the name is for the fear of goldfish?? Carpephobia?

On the fence and saying Not in MY pond – and YOU?

I figured I'd add the shot of our cat next to the fish tank just waiting to rope a few Goldies

I want a Zoila!

 I want a Zoila! (Pronounced Zoy-la) Do you watch Flipping Out on Bravo? If you do, you know who Zoila is and you also know that life would just be so much more fun with a Zoila in your life. If you don’t watch this show, and I highly recommend catching it at least once, because there are few people who wouldn’t find some humor in it, let me explain just what a Zoila is.


Zoila is a housekeeper from Nicaragua who speaks broken English and fluent Spanish. In this show she gives her employer a hard time and he gives it right back especially with his extreme OCD and extraordinary requests. I would like to just have her around whether she cleaned the house or not. Of course who wouldn’t want the inside of their refrigerator to have all labels facing out and organized by size – same with the kitchen cupboards and cabinets? (My husband cringes whenever they show how immaculately perfect everything is, because he knows at that point he has truly lost me –I’ve died and gone to heaven- a perfect, precise and orderly Heaven)

I am CERTAIN that having a Zoila around would mean that she could say NO when I cannot. Zoila is also pet friendly, so again, although we have two cats, I am NOT a cat person, but I couldn’t say no to the kids and I certainly couldn’t say no to the buy one get one free deal, therefore she could take care of the cats for me! But most importantly, I just want to have a Zoila to talk to, laugh with, and to keep me in line. OH! And to call me Kristen Burkley, not just Kristen. I adore how she refers to her boss as Jeffery Lewis every single time.

Come to think of it, I’d take a Jenni and a Jeff, Jett and his adorable baby, Trace and Sarah – they are ALL such LIKEABLE people. I really think I would do an awesome job working for Jeff too. I’ve had employers JUST LIKE him – one of them was 10x worse and it never bothered me. Probably the workaholic/OCD in me…. (Did I ever tell you about my Dad purposely putting a piece of LINT (yes, a tiny little bitty piece of lint) on the living room floor? At Dinner that night he asked us if we saw anything today? We couldn’t think of what the heck he was talking about – he said, You didn’t notice anything?? We were dumbfounded. So then he got up from the table, went over to the carpet and bent down and picked up this piece of lint and brought it to the table. He said, “ YOU DIDN’T SEE THIS ON THE FLOOR, THE TEN TIMES YOU WALKED PAST IT??? YOU COULDN’T BE BOTHERED TO PICK IT UP???” We never saw it. But I’ll tell you, from that day on, we never left so much as a thread lying around) Good Times!

I say YES! But I mean NO!

I have had a horrible habit of saying Yes and meaning NO, my whole life. I have accepted jobs I didn’t really want, (I sold shoes at Thom McCann while in college at the local Mall – couldn’t have sold shoes at Sax Fifth Avenue, no, had to say yes to the first place that called me back!) gone on dates when I knew I would be miserable (and always with the guy who was soooo nice so telling him after that there would not be another date was even more torturous than the date itself) and made commitments I didn’t want to keep. (RSVP’s to weddings, costume parties and even told people sure, I’ll Dog sit for a week or watch your kids while you go on vacation!) I have signed up to sell Amway, and worst became a member of Direct Buy and lost $2500! (on this one my husband can share the blame!) I have had a pampered chef party and attended several, have had a random stranger in my home selling Avon, gone to different jewelry and candle parties than I can even remember! I have purchased wrapping paper and candies I do not want from employee’s children, lent out books I wanted to keep, and volunteered my time doing tasks that I have no interest in. I’ve been a room parent, a party coordinator, a Cub Scout den leader (ONE OF THE WORST MISTAKES outside of Direct Buy!) and I have even made religious commitments I didn’t mean. You’re probably wondering how I had only three kids…… (I may say Yes, but I have taken precautions! ;) )


What I don’t understand is that I am a strong woman, but if you ask me something, I have a really hard time saying NO. I think I do not want to disappoint the person asking or, I do not want to appear lame or weak or even worse Lazy! In the last several years I have gotten better at saying NO. I just avoid being asked - Thank god for caller ID! This has been my biggest life saver yet!

My current Yes-lemma (as I like to call them) is that I have volunteered to be the fundraiser helper for my daughter’s Brownie troop. ( let me preface this by saying I am the furthest thing from a Brownie Mom – I am not crafty, I do not enjoy packs of little girls unless I personally gave birth to them, I think the name and the uniforms are dumb and I rarely relate to most Moms, especially ones that stay at home or use the WAHM acronym. However, when your youngest daughter looks at you and asks if she could pretty please join, what are you supposed to do?? (RIGHT …I KNOW…..) Now, when she decided to join Brownies I KNEW from previous experience with my son’s short-lived cub scouts stint to not commit to anything. But this was a new troop, the first for our small K-12th grade school and my daughter was so excited. I figured by organizing the cookie sales behind the scenes –like making a spreadsheet- would be just enough help to get away with. Unfortunately one thing led to another and I found myself over-committed and extremely aggravated! I even wrote a scathing letter to the Girl Scouts about not accommodating working Mom’s and having training sessions and pickup times during the day and worst for holding a cookie sale during the Holiday season ( I really mean during CHRISTMAS but I tried to be politically correct in my letter) I thought it was especially great when I pointed out that after all, weren’t the Girl Scouts promoting girls to be independent career woman, so shouldn’t they accommodate the working Mom??? (This got me real far……)

Now a new year and here I am, having said yes (but honestly I do not remember saying Yes again for this year!!) and I have been emailed a day of the first training session for one of TWO fundraisers that I will be in charge of. (WHAT???) So what do I do? I email OK, (slightly less than a YES!!) that I will attend, and then I ask a few questions in a way that SHOULD alert the sender that I am a little surprised by the fact that I am in charge of both fundraisers this year. On my way home from work today, I am sitting there thinking – “DUMMY – what is your problem???” You CANNOT attend a meeting for FREE after work for two hours. You CAN’T. YOU. CANNOT. I REPEAT. YOU CANNOT DO THIS! (Today was one of those days from HELL at work – with having two days off and the day after a long weekend for everyone else)

So, I have since emailed the leader (a mere 24 hours after yesterdays YES email) that on the training date she gave to me, I have a late meeting at work and really do not see how I can make it. WHY CAN’T I JUST SAY NO? NO, I CANNOT ATTEND THIS MEETING, PLEASE FIND SOMEONE ELSE! What is WRONG with me??? I SUCK. I am a LOSER who cannot say NO. My husband would love to argue this point because I am fairly certain I have had no problem telling him no more than I have ever said NO to anything else! I need therapy, I really do……. Saying YES, when I mean NO – How are YOU?

Home SICK

Funeral weekend is over.  We are home and I am SICK.  I think it's allergies but it feels like I have been hit by a semi truck.
The weekend went well, the funeral was really pretty and uplifting, rather than depressing. 
The whole weekend you could move from group to group of people and catch a funny story here, an innapropriate comment there, want to smack someone or hug them all at once.  I won't bore you with specifics but my favorite highlights were:
Watching something happen, then hearing what happened re-told in several different ways.  It was like watching a reality TV show.  We would have made a great one this weekend. In my Grandma's house there were at least 25-50 people at any give time over the 3 days. So in every room of the house a scene was being played out.
The food that people dropped off would be put away between the kitchen and basement refridgerators.   Every couple of hours someone would say they were hungry and then the food would come out.  No one would leave it there for long, so about 30 minutes later women would sweep in, clean up the food, pack it away only to take it back out in less than an hour later.  I do not want to see another slice of ham or turkey or pasta salad for a very long time!  While the food was taken out or put away, if you were the one taking it to the downstairs refridgerator, you would run into at least one person in the basement milling around just looking - you knew they were wondering what was in that box, or in that bag.  They were looking for anything they could find to either take, or bring upstairs to share.  And god forbid you were left in the basement alone or else you would feel as though you were doing something inappropriate!
At one point someone found all of the stored pictures.  As many people that could fit around the table did so and pictures were passed out and laughed or cried over.  I ended up with a few treausures of  my own.
My aunt who has lived with my Grandma her whole life, has a very nice almost brand new car.  She had been driving my Grandma's car more recently since my Grandma wasn't allowed to drive.  Also, because she had two flat tires on her own car. The story ended up that her car had those two flat tires for two years and this is why she was driving Grandma's car by the time it circulated through everyone.  Finally someone (cough, cough) said to a group of men, " hey while we are all here, let's get those tires fixed"  At one point there were about ten men standing around two tires in the garage discussing exactly how to take care of the problem.  Needless to say my Aunt now has two working vehicles.
At the church, waiting for the funeral to begin, if you looked up on a landing of the staircase you could see the younger kids sitting in a circle playing the very appropriate game of "Old Maid".
I loved every minute of the little whispered arguments that you would accidently walk into, or the "Wait until you hear this" comments whispered in your ear, or the personal moments you had with a family member you haven't seen in a long time.
During all of this we managed to go through gallons of alcohol, pounds of food, watched the very appropriate movie Kick Ass (thanks to my husband) the men went to the local and famous hot dog joint, and tried to go target shooting while the women went shopping of course.  We managed to even lock them out of the house while we were gone.

On the last night, while everyone was saying their goodbyes, my Grandma's dog, who went from looking so sad on the first night we got there, to looking almost normal, let out a yelp of pain and ran to hide in my Aunt's closet.  Still saying goodbyes,  my Aunt discreetly went to check it out with a few other "dog experts" in the family and they decided that something was definatley wrong with her.  At this point you could hear comments around the room of - "the dog is fine, wait until Tuesday and take it to the vet", "Oh no, it's Grandma's dog and she feels reponsible, how sad", to " oh my gosh, don't let anything bad happen to the dog while we are still here - hurry, let's go!"  My Aunt, after calling the vet, decided she needed to go to the Hospital amongst many naysayers, and I feeling bad, volunteereed to go with.  Now you know, I like animals and all, just not in a  huge hold them and hug them kind of way. My Aunt drove while Sassy the dog sat on my lap.  It was a long drive at 10:30pm at night, and I hoped it wasn't anything serious. Going to a vet hospital is just like going to a real hospital! (Who Knew?)  After Sassy was "triaged", we found out that she had one of the worst cornea lacerations they had seen.  About 30 minutes later we were on our way home, me with little cone -headed Sassy on my lap.  At this point we both just laughed, and I said to my Aunt.  Well, at least now you have a distraction to keep you busy after we all leave.  And I believe that is exactly what that was- specifcally orchestrated by my Grandmother from above. 
Now for me, it's back home, to unpack, and clean and think fondly back over the details of the weekend.  What was supposed to be a very sad event, was for sure in many ways, but during the saddest parts something funnywould inevitably happen. Like seeing actual Christmas decorations on two houses while driving in the funeral procession - that and seeing the look of joy on the faces of the men who were driving about getting to run the red lights.  Or during the saddest part of the funeral hearing someone's cell phone go off.  So thank you Grandma for giving me this unique family to be a part of and you will certainly be missed.