Sunday, November 7, 2010


I am a lot of talk and no game kind of girl to be perfectly honest.

I know the lingo used in texts but I don’t text.

I know all the slang used by adults and teens, but am hesitate to say any of it out loud.

I know the best places to eat, where to go dancing, what bars are for what kind of group, but haven’t been out with a group of people in over a year.

I know what kind of tattoo I would get and which one my hubby should have, but I don’t have any and neither does he.

I pride myself on keeping relevant, up-to-date, and with the times. I can talk about good music, I know who sings in what band and am typically listening to Alternate Nation, Octane or Lithium on my XM. I love Metallic, Johnny Cash, Silversun pickups, Kings of Leon, Edwarde Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes- But I haven’t been to a concert outside of Dave Matthews in YEARS.

I am an old soul – when I was 8, I felt like I was in my twenties. I read books that were racier than books I care to read now. I read so many mafia tales that I thought since my family didn’t have ties, I would become a lawyer and work my way in. The closest thing to a Mafia tie I have now is General Hospital.

I can shoot a gun, my hubby has his concealed carry, I believe in those rights, but I gave him the gun he bought me back and prefer to just know how in case it ever comes up but not really pack the heat.
I know the fashion trends BEFORE the fashions become a FAD. But my closet is mostly stocked with Target clearance items.

I have been with my now hubby since I was 15 – so I was well beyond my years when it came to relationships and understanding how men work. In reality, I have like no real hand’s on experience with OTHER men.





NOT the ONE I normally see.

52 NAKED MEN to be exact.

Most Saturday nights are spent: At Target, Strolling through a nearby quaint town sipping coffee, blogging and doing research on the computer, sitting by the fire, watching movies, playing games with the kids.

Until last night, when I finally said I would attend Girl’s Night In for cards and cocktails.



So this is me when we got out our quarters and lottery scratch off tickets: Big Girl me with my black sweater, good-butt jeans, trendy clogs that make me 3” taller, and my quarters stacked like I gamble with the best of them. Me with my scratch off lottery tickets that my hubby purchased for me earlier in the day. Me, who got dropped off at the party with a kiss so I could have a drink and not have to drive. Here is the look on my face when the cards got dealt:

I got out my poker face and played with these women who are on the PTA, sing in the church choir, wear sweaters with pictures knitted on them and scrapbook!! (of which I do none of those things)

We talked about report cards, a new church baptism, what chocolate is best for melting, why the PTA has issues all while holding NAKED MEN in our hands!!

I love when completely contradictory things happen. Last night was a perfect storm of just that.

Big Girl, all talk and no game me, playing with Naked Men. (and I did not take them into the bathroom to get a GOOD look like I wanted to either) I just played my cards, lost most of my quarters and carried on.

Blushing, How are YOU?


Kate said...

Hilarious. :) I love the tag "playing solitaire might be more fun". do you think I could pick up a deck of those cards...?

MichelleLCSW said...

BAHAHAHA! When I first started reading this, I thought that you were going to say 52 naked stripper men invaded your party - and I was like, "DAMN! That's SOME party! Some folks might have heart attacks with all of that sausage (hangin' out in all its glory) dancing around in the room!" That's hilarious!
P.S. Thanks for your words of wisdom. XO

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

oh - i love it! i bet you had a blast and enjoyed every minute of it. that sounds like a great way to spend the evening.

i do scrapbook but i don't (usually) wear sweaters with pictures knitted on them.

Sam said...

LOL I thought the same thing Michelle thought and I was like DAMN that's A LOT of strippers in one place!

Kate said...

Mullets and tube socks, huh? I'm going back to the mental picture I was glancing (not staring...really!) at when I first read your post.

Emom said...

You got me! I love it....what a do have a way with words, and obviously can twist a tale......smiles...

Marla said...

With all the boys in this family, I have seen more naked than one girl needs in a lifetime. I still remember the day I yelled, "If I see one more weinie running through this house, I'm leaving!"

Glad you had a good time, you rebel.