Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I’m a Voluptuous hater of Corporate Girl Scouts

Why can't they make travel mugs with hot pink lids on them?  Why do I ask such a thing?? Any guesses??

Then no one has to look at my lipstick left on the mug!!

I have another invention for you of a new sizing method for women. I do not want to be a number anymore. I don’t like my size number- it really doesn’t express that I have had three children and that I have curves and that I work hard to be my size and I do not want to be known as my size NUMBER. I would so much rather prefer to be known as a Voluptuous or a Marilyn (as in Monroe) or REAL LIFE. We could have sizes titled: Sleek, Svelte, Voluptuous, Bodacious, and Milf. Wouldn’t you love to send your hubby to the store and say “Just get me a Gorgeous, they always fit the best!”

How about boys? No more HUSKY sizes please, (how demeaning!) because I hated having my adorable son watch me search desperately through the HUSKY racks! Let’s go with Athletic, Superhero, and Powerful instead.

Just a thought.

Is it REALLY necessary to have the Brownie Cookie Chairperson TRAINING for 2 ½ hours when it is the 2nd year in a row that you have been a “chairperson” so you can hear about how if the girls sell a mere 50 boxes of cookies they can win a SILLY BAND????? (a single band)


First of all said training starts at 6pm. I work until 5pm on a good day, and it is an hour away. Then to not get home until 9pm? I DO NOT THINK SO! I have three kids who like dinner, their homework getting done needs monitoring by a responsible adult and I actually like those kids and enjoy my evenings with them. I was the cookie chair last year, I THINK I know what I am doing! This aggravates me beyond belief. Can “they” (as in GROWN UP adult women/men realize that people WORK and have limited time for VOLUNTEERING) not do on-line training??? Or a Saturday? I feel like saying: “You get me for an hour- this is all I am willing to volunteer.” But then I feel guilty because some other poor sap is going to have to do it in my place and they might not have a super supportive hubby like mine who will cook the dinner, do the homework and pass out the hugs on my behalf. But if I am going to not come home from work until 9pm, I would like to at least be doing something FUN!!
Talk me down, PLEASE talk me down before I shoot off another rant to our troop leader who so graciously donates her time in hopes that she can tell the higher ups how RIDICULOUS they are. I have been so disappointed in Girl Scouts Corporate and their inter-workings I can’t even express it – but my daughter loves it so what is a Mom to do?? What if I showed up at 7:30pm-8:30pm?? I am quite certain that is plenty of time to tell me something I do not already know. Maybe one of the Moms who stays home during the day can split it with me – she can go from 6-7:15 and I will do 7:15-8:30?? I think that is a good plan. How about you?


How are YOU?


FreeFlying said...

I love your sizing ideas! I would like to be a sensational! Also, that is wild about the volunteering. There should NOT be training time tacked on to selfless hours.

MichelleLCSW said...

Kristen - you have no idea how much this post resonates with me! It seems next to impossible to fit in all of the stuff you "want" to fit in with all of the stuff you "have" to fit in! SIGH!

Kate said...

I'm on board for your new sizing system, though it would just leave me hankering for a size "svelte" instead of dreaming of being able to wear a 6 (or, let's face it, an 8 without losing circulation!!)

Can you take wine to the GS training? Everything is better with wine. And...ummm...some playing cards to kill time until you hear something new?

Sam said...

Oh you poor thing. I personally think you're a saint for getting involved in all that. Lord knows my mother didn't spend any of her time involving herself in any of the torturous activities she subjected me to. (Like Girl Scouts which I HATED-green is just not my color)
And Awesome call on the new names! MUCH better than numbers. Right on!

Doria said...

I think that is a great idea.. I love the idea on clothing "sizes" Loved it and well I approve of the coffee cup as long as they are to be personal. I dont want to go out to Waffle House and order a cup of coffee and they bring it to me in a cup like that, you know you always find the lipstick marks on a waffle house cup *shakes head* saddens me! :)) Love the post.. Am Im fine. How are you?

Marla said...

Don't even get me started. Too late.

The size thing makes me want to run screaming through the mall, "It's a conspiracy!!! Run for your lives!!!" Ok, maybe I lean toward the dramatic but whatever.

And the GS training. To sell cookies. Ummm......yeah. It's up there with the school fundraising in my book. They are kids, people. Stick em on a corner and every little old man and lady, like Bob and I, will buy just because they are so darn cute. Drop the quotas and stupid demeaning "prizes" and just let the kids be kids.

You may now block me from ever commenting again. :-)

Barb said...

Husky is horrible, I agree. As a young girl, about age 9-13, I had to shop in the "pretty plus" section. Seriously what girl wants to go be in the section of the store with the "Pretty Plus" sign hanging in the air. Mental trauma!