Sunday, August 15, 2010

Missing my Friend

I 'm always jealous of women who have best girl friends, the ones whose  families do everything together.  Travel, play cards, and just hang out.  I don't know what happened but I find myself lacking those kinds of relationships and sometimes I miss it.  Growing up,  I didnt have a lot of close friends. There were girls I wanted to be friends with but it seems like I was the third wheel all the time. Mostly because we lived on a road with no other houses close-by and my parents both worked, so having friends over was difficult, plus my parents had a boat that we went on every weekend and all summer, so getting together with classmates was difficult.  I had friends for sure, and I have great memories of times with each of them, but for some reason we are no longer friends and I didn't develope a true best friend out of it.....  I had two older brothers so female companionship was rare. Don't get me wrong, my Mom was great - she was always there for me when something went wrong, we went shopping together and we watched movies together. Again GREAT memories , and my Grandma (Nannie) was another great female influence- always supportive as well as many other female relatives in my life, but none that I saw on a regular basis,  and now even my Mom is over 24 hours away.   I hung out with the boys in school more than the girls so by the time I went to college and met girlfriends, I don't know, I just was never able to hang on to them.  Maybe I was too close with my then boyfriend, now husband, who was and still is my very best friend. I know I gave up time with the girls to be with him whenever I could. 
I've made lots of friends throughout my career, but my career and family have always come first, so as I have left companies and positions, I tend to lose those relationships built as well. 
 I am super close to my sister-in-law, but even she has her own best friends.  So now, look at me, I'm whining about wanting a friend.  I'm sure it's all my fault, but still, it would be nice to have someone that you could talk to no matter what.  I look at my daughters and think how lucky they are because they are so close.  Back in the 40's and 50's it seems like friendships were more important then they are now and families were closer to each other.  I think those are the times I would like.  A lot of it has to do with being a working Mom - your priorities are so different and there is never enough time.  I know my friends that are stay at home Moms have many more girlfriends than I do.  I keep telling myself, I'll find my friend one day, that she is still out there, and thankfully I have plenty of time to develop a friendship with my daughters.  Like today, we went and got our toes done together and it was fun.  Maybe this is why I like to read so much - I become friends with the charachters but the books always end too fast.  I like to think that my experiences over the years would make me a good friend to someone, I just haven't quite found her yet. 
Feeling a little lonely today, and YOU?

1 comment:

Sobrina Tung said...

Aww, I know how you feel about making friends with book characters, I find that I leave a lot of my books unfinished by a chapter or two. I think it's so that the characters will just sorta stick around...