Friday, October 22, 2010

Blare the Music, Dance While You Shop and Stick em' in a Dome!

I think it is completely appropriate to pull up next to a bunch of stuffy UPTIGHT people in my Mom-Van and blast Eminem’s - I Love the Way You Lie. Just to see the look on their faces but also because I really like that song.

I think because we already have an over-abundance of them, grocery stores should be like Dance Clubs – you choose which genre you want: Country Cupboard, Hard Rock Goods, Alternate Station, POP Foods, The Mellow Stop, Salsa Savings, Rap-Mart, Ballroom & Go, Then while you shop you can dance your way through the aisles. No more aisle-rage, the kids would think going to the store was fun, you would meet people with similar interests and you’d burn some calories.

I used to work in an office that had all of us sitting out in the open in pods (God forbid you got up from your chair with a wedgie or anything) and we alternated picking the music to listen to. We had a great sound system and the music played pretty loudly. I always wanted to get up every so often and dance on my desk, but with potential wardrobe malfunctions right out in the open, I refrained. However, one night after the Christmas party I did demonstrate that I can still do the splits as well as danced on top of the desks for the stragglers. Made for a fun memory-Monday!

You know how they have people movers in airports? Why can’t they make highways like this? I put my car on, and it moves. I can sit back and relax. No more traffic jams. Imagine driving from Indiana to west of Chicago in less than an hour! I could sleep for 24 hours while the car-mover takes me to Florida! I realize there are trains, planes and buses to serve this same purpose, but the cost and the fact that I am already making a monthly payment equal to the cost of this transportation prevents me from utilizing any of them.

Instead of health benefits, I’d like concierge benefits. This new health care bill should have an option of either or? (Who knows it MIGHT- there is enough other unrelated stuff hidden in it already?) I could have someone give me a back/neck/shoulder massage while I work, my dry cleaning could be picked up and dropped off, groceries ready and waiting in my car as I leave work, my pants hemmed, brownie patches ironed/sewed on, and car detailed. I’d be so much happier therefore even healthier, I wouldn’t need the health benefits!

Little kids HATE those wooden high chairs they have at restaurants. I know this well because none of my three kids would sit in them and tonight the little cutie at the table next to us wasn’t likin his either. I think they should have a cushiony dome to sit in. You stick them in and shut the lid, it’s soundproof but also has all kinds of cool toys to entertain the tot. (I’m not after torture here)

I’m done rambling. Tomorrow is a very sad funeral in the am and couch shopping in the pm – what a combo! (Weird how life goes on, huh?)


Kate said...

I love, love, love that song! And I would totally shop in those grocery stores. However, forget the interstate people mover. I want a transporter like in Star Trek ("Beam me to work, Scottie!"). In the absence of that technology and in addition to the concierge, I'd like a driver/valet and my own personal paparazzi so I don't have to fall all over the trails trying to get good pictures for my race reports. I don't think that's too much to ask, do you?

Kelley said...

First, I am sorry about the really dad funeral. I hate that. :( Second, I love all of your ideas! Ha! My favorite are the different stores with different music genres. I would shop in a certain store based on my mood. I probably would end up shopping in the rap store the most. Lastly, you can still do the splits?? Yay, you! I haven't tried in a while. You have inspired me!

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

LOL - too funny! Just picturing the kids in the domes... I've been in restaurants where this would have been great for some kids. Heck - probably my own at some point in time. hahaha!

Cheeseboy said...

I love your people mover idea. Brilliant! Well, many great ideas here, but I really like that one.

Also, kudos for the use of the squish our fruits together crew.

Sam said...

Wow! Those are some freakin fantastic innovations you've thought of there. Seriously. Maybe YOU should be President b/c I particularly like the idea of the 'car mover thingy' and the concierge benefits and I think you'd probably have to be president to pull those off. (I don't know why ppl are so resistant to awesomeness)
I'm sorry to hear about the funeral :(
Good luck with the couch shopping!
(and that IS a weird combo)

Marla said...

I love singing and dancing in public. It completely embarrasses my children. Good times!