Monday, October 18, 2010

Coke and Peanut M&M's diet of Champions!

Count Chocula – I used to eat this for breakfast every day, then drink the chocolate milk down to the last drop.

A Bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and chocolate sauce- EVERY day after school while I watched General Hospital.

Coke and Peanut M&M’s – This was my lunch when I was working the summers in an office while in college – EVERY DAY.

Chocolate Milkshake , Chocolate Scooter Crunches and Peanut butter squares – At lunch in High school, usually INSTEAD of lunch.

Dexatrim – I took this when I didn’t need to lose weight.

Taco Bell – 5x a week in College.

Beer – Not Lite. As much as we could drink – all through college.

So here is my question? How is it that I eat a bowl of healthy cereal for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine for Lunch , a well-rounded dinner, I rarely drink, and I wouldn’t put on a bikini and walk in front of strangers much less all my friends?

Just sayin.

All nighters – in college at least 2x a week. And for 3 months after all three kids - at least.

2 jobs at a time and classes, then plenty of time left over for the dance floor and friends – all through college and a few years after.

Hours and Hours on the phone – well past bedtime in Middle and High school almost every night.

GTL – Gym, Tanning, Laundry the day after an all-nighter and then another all nighter that day too just for fun.

So here is my question? How is that I go to bed by 11pm, get up at 5:30 after I hit snooze for 45 minutes, work at a desk for 8 hours, come home and do some stuff and if you asked me right now at 8:09pm to meet you out to go dancing, I’d tell you . “Sorry, you must have a wrong number.”

Just sayin.

And while we are at it, what is going on with food getting caught in my teeth more often lately and WHY am I getting heartburn for even THINKING about eating a baked good or having red sauce? Why am I able to wear a bigger shoe size now but my hair has been the same length for months and even though I am too tired to stay awake to watch a TV show on the couch, and even be able to stay AWAKE on a couch in any position other than standing, but I can’t sleep through the night? By the way, why am I now carrying a bottle of tums, tweezers, Prilosec, sunscreen, hand sanitizer, a Tide pen and dental floss in my PURSE??

I am going to go sit in my car, roll down the windows, turn on some Metallica REALLY loud, with my flip flops, shorty shorts, sunglasses, and tank top on even though it is only 48 degrees outside. I am NOT taking my purse, and maybe I’ll stop at Dairy Queen on they way to the GYM, come home, and call my friends on the party line and talk all night in a prone position and go to work tomorrow, like nothing has happened at all, but just another boring night.

Happy Monday, How are YOU?


Kate said...

The metabolism, she ees a hateful beetch, she ees. And my DQ HABIT (best postrace treat ever!!) is why I run my ass off and yet still have a flabby belly.

Love your posts!

Doria said...

I have to agree on some points you make. Altho Im still in denial and Im not old until Im like 80, but I wake up every morning with aches and pains and go to bed every night with aches and pains and well Im hopelessly addicted to facebook and I dont have too much of a life all the time. haha... Love the post!!! I want all of those junk foods you were naming off and I want them all right now, haha...

FreeFlying said...

Oh my goodness. SO true.

Kimmie said...

It really is horrible, isn't it? I miss eating Nutty Bars for lunch. Or a nice Snicker with a Mt. Dew chaser.

Sam said...

I can totally relate to this! It's just not fair! If I even look at a carbohydrate I can hear my ass growing exponentially. Meanwhile my husband eats bags and bags of candy and doesn't gain an ounce. WTH?

Cheeseboy said...

Wait, so Coke and Peanut M&M's are bad for you?