Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Flake is a real person who deserves a better friend than me

I was going to blog about the worst trouble I have ever been in. Not like financial or romantic trouble. (we’ll save that for another day) More like: Throwing rocks for hours into the street until all the rocks my Dad so carefully placed around the mailbox were now in the middle of the street. Or carving my name in the side of the house and denying it was me. Or intending to have a FEW friends over while my parents were out of town until someone put a big sign up during the football game announcing my OPEN HOUSE and then having the cops chasing kids through the golf course we lived behind. Or when I forwarded an email to a client and forgot to take out the nasty part at the end where I complained about what a whiner she was. But I decided it didn’t do me any favors – you would either think I was a loser for thinking that was trouble or a loser for being such a loser.
I was going to tell you about my friend whose name (legal, yes) is Flake. And how I missed his 40th birthday and now I feel like such a, well a FLAKE. But then you would think I was no kind of friend at all.

I was going to tell you about my horrible week so far –Finding out a former co-worker has passed away way too young, Day 3 of a sinus headache, too many issues at work to count, but then you would think I was complaining.

I was going to tell you a really good throwing up story where my whole family of five drove eight hours to my grandparents house and passed around a good ole flu bug so that when we arrived, one by one we all ended up throwing up in her little house forcing them to sleep in the basement. But then when I got to the part where I was laying on the couch and my Mom and Aunt were cleaning up “throw up” from the walls and ceiling and I was yelling, “ IT SMELLS, I’m GONNA THROW UP FROM THE SMELL” you would hate me as much as they did at that moment. Plus I can’t tell the story well enough without typing the word PUKE and I really hate that word – makes me gag.

I was going to tell you that I had a revelation – I now crave COMMENTS on my blog more than followers and really LOVE my regular commenter’s and look forward to hearing from you every day. But then you will think I am fishing and will stop commenting to teach me a lesson.


I was going to show you all the mailboxes I would like to have, but then I thought you wouldn't visit anymore.

So, I guess I’ll say nothing at all today and hope for more wit tomorrow.

But since you are here, How are YOU?

10 comments:

Kate said...

Lol. I teach all day, so I'm way too worn out by now to go teaching YOU any lessons (and for free at that!). Plus, every single thing you thought about reminds me of a story I could tell...though they're not all MY stories, and then you might think I'm a loser for not having my own stories to tell. Plus plus, now I'm in way too good a mood from laughing over your stories and my stories that aren't technically mine to a) withhold comments (not that kinda girl) or b) I actually forget what (b) was going to be, but I think it was funny. Trust me.

Sam said...

ROTFLMAO! I happen to think that this is a kick-ass post and completely hilarious and I love it. And also that I will not hold your taste in mailboxes against you-I'm not judgmental like that. I'll be back to comment you tomorrow chica don't fret. xoxo

Doria said...

Do not read if your tummy is weak... I prefer Puke over Vomit. hahaha... Sorry!! And I dont know that mail box is purdy cool, altho I wouldn't want it outside any future house o' mine! hahah...

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

I so want that mailbox!!

Kelley said...

Wow, how did you manage to almost tell us something without telling us something WHILE telling us something? Hmmm... I laughed at the part where you threw the rocks out into the street that were around the mailbox. It makes me realize that my sons will probably remember me getting mad at them for stuff. I hope they also remember that I gave lots of hugs and praise! I'm feeling like a mean mommy right now. :( Loved your post, as usual! :)

Brittany_Va-Voom Vintage said...

LOL, I love the stories about getting into trouble. I have so many good ones to tell- like the time I reached up to pick an apple off our tree and pulled half of the tree down on my mom's car 20 minutes before she had to leave for work. Or the time I caught the kitchen on fire, burned a hole the size of a pot pie in the carpet...or the time I shot over a dozen arrows into the door of the shed and tried to spackle and paint over them before mom came home. I don't know about the rest of the world but I want to see the mailboxes!!

Kimmie said...

How about some good ole barf. Last Thanksgiving, the plague brought some of us down. Luckily, I was in my own home when it hit me. My sister and BIL were stuck at my parents' with ONE bathroom. Ugh. What a nightmare!

FreeFlying said...

Those are the best non-stories I've ever heard. And you made me laugh when you said we might teach you a lesson and not leave comments anymore. I, too, get overly excited about comments. And I get so nervous that none are going to come, like that's the equivalent of "you want us to play with you, Lacie, but NOBODY LIKES YOU!"

http://operatingonrandom.blogspot.com

Marla said...

I really think you are one of my new favorite bloggers. You are real and funny and really funny.

Jin said...

Seems like you have a real propensity to get into scrapes... I hope your sinus headache is gone by now. I'm working with Zicam - visit http://bit.ly/aZLzSy for $2 off.