Thursday, October 14, 2010

CONFESSIONAL

I let the messes the kids make bother me way too much – I know this because last night at 11:30pm, I jumped out of bed in aggravation and cleaned the basement for 20 minutes before I realized I might be crazy.

The real reason I jumped out of bed at 11:30pm last night was because I was mad about something not related to the mess in the basement. (I should also say that I am the only one who views it as a mess, everyone else in the house calls it having some things out) I had told my son to work on his school project over the weekend instead of the night before it is due but wouldn’t you know, he was still up working on it when I got into bed last night. I stayed in bed about 5 minutes until my blood started to boil because I was right and he didn’t listen to me. I proceeded to slam my feet down the hallway into the basement to reprimand him (would you call screaming and pointing my finger reprimanding? No?) Then I started cleaning (in a frenzied/crazy manner) until he was done with his project.

What made me most mad is that he had called my husband earlier to ask if he could run across the street to a school event. My husband said OK, despite me in the background saying no, he has a project due tomorrow and I do not think it is done. I was ignored. Neither of them saw anything wrong with a late night to get the project done. As a matter of fact, they both looked at me as though I WAS THE CRAZY PERSON! Which infuriated me more and so I screamed and slammed louder.

My younger two were sleeping (or trying to) while I was having a baby pants temper tantrum.

My son gets straight A’s and doesn’t get into trouble. He is just a teenager who thinks I am a crazy person because he doesn’t let anything get him upset. EVER. Even when I am yelling at him in my PJ’s (the ones with the snowmen on them) at 11:45pm waking the whole house up.

I then turned my anger on the two cats who were sitting there looking at me like a crazy person, so I yelled at them to get into the basement (where they go at night) like they need to go to bed too.

Is it possible I have already been punished for my irrational actions by not getting any sleep last night, and my husband not speaking to me? Or do I have more coming to me?

Sometimes I am such a loser! I know when I am in the middle of doing something like this, how ridiculous I:

1. Look (wagging my finger, wearing nice-mom pj’s, spit flying out of my mouth, nasty snarl on my face, stomping my BARE feet on the ground like it will make a difference.)

2. Sound (I throw out big Mom words and a few slurs and a swear word or two to make me sound so mean and tough)

3. AM (just plain RIDICULOUS!!!)
I am hoping by this post, someone out there can relate, maybe we can start a Loser Mom club, or IRATE LOSER Moms, or RIDICULOUSLY IRATE LOSER MOMS club. But we’d have like no other members; it would just be the two of us and our snowman pant pj’s, all lonely and loserish. Please don’t hate me, I figured I should let you know –I’m not perfect. As if you hadn’t already figured that one out from my previous posts. But I AM honest! I’ll be an angel tonight. I will kiss the hubby, tell him I am sorry, kiss my son, kiss the girls, ply them with a yummy treat, and not say the words CLEAN UP for 24 hours.(the last part being the hardest from an OCD freak w/ frequent bad Mom moments.)

I bet my son did this when I wasn't looking after he was born.



4 comments:

Kate said...

I actually went back through my blog to find all the times that I've talked about what a psycho I am. I must be editing and focusing on the positive way too much, because I couldn't find them. I know that I've posted Joan Crawford's picture more than once...and it's not because I'm such a big fan.

It's funny because we are so alike and so different at the same time. I could definitely be in your club, but I couldn't host the meetings or you'd start cleaning my house (and while it needs it, I'd be embarassed and you'd never want to set foot in my house again. NOt cool). More than once I find myself realizing in mid rant what an ass I'm being and yet unable to stop myself. Yes, the yelling. Yes, the childish behavior. Yes, the pajama pants, though mine are from A Christmas Story and so have Red Ryder BB guns rather than snowmen, but they definitely fit with the winter theme.

I think you've definitely been punished too much, and now your husband should bring you flowers, take you out to a nice dinner, and then send you off to the bathroom for a long, leisurely bubble bath with a good book, because we all know how much it takes out of you to freak out like that. You need some pampering and relaxation, or else you might suffer a relapse. You need some pampering and relaxing. OR ELSE. lol

Sam said...

Oh my dear-I do not have children but I am here to tell you that I am-very much like you in my OCD tendencies and my own 'baby pants temper tantrums'.
Luckily for me my husband is an infinitely patient man...
But I digress-I feel that I should join your club (despite my childlessness) and I'm sure there's a way for us to put a better spin on it like maybe:
A Club For Super Neat (read obsessive compulsive) Passionate (read hot-tempered) Women.
How does that sound?

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

I'm right there with you.

I'm a yeller. Always have beeen. But, the older I've gotten, the more mellow I've gotten (plus, Isaiah lived with us for nearly five years - www.isaiahseyes.com - and he was afraid of loud noises, which included grandma).

My youngest son (who is now 24) asked me one time if I would quit yelling when I was mad because it was very upsetting. I think he was about 11. I agreed. I promised I wouldn't yell at him any more.

The next time he got into trouble, I remembered my promise and did not yell. I very calmly told him that he was grounded (or whatever) and left it at that. I found him on the floor about 30 minutes later crying. I asked him why and he said he wished I would yell at him and get it over with. He knew that once I was done yelling, I was DONE with the issue. He said he didn't know what to expect and was waiting the next "shoe" to literally fall.

I nearly wet myself laughing - although I did feel sorry for him. I decided that was the best punishment and I couldn't have come up with something as effective if I'd tried.

bridget said...

Yep....in the club...glad I found your blog :) Fun way to reconnect!!